I totally have creativity constipation, aka writer’s block. I’ve been staring at a screen for pretty much two months. It’s a fabulous feeling. I keep waiting for that bolt of inspiration, but so far all I’ve managed to do is up my Facebook time. Tonight I’m going to eat ice cream for dinner and see if that will shock my system into being creative. Not that ice cream for dinner is that foreign to this body…

Well, it’s official–the economists have declared that we are in a recession. Good thing they did that. Otherwise we might not have known. . .What a  revelation. I did not see that one coming…three years ago.

So Brit is making her comeback with her new CD. I’m so glad to see she is off the crazy train. Girls like me and Britney, we always find our way back around. We just rise from the ashes–bigger and better than ever. Okay, did I mention I don’t have a fiction-related thought in my head? It’s driving me nuts. My agent once said that Jerry Jenkins will isolate himself in a hotel room to write. OMG, if I did that I’d come out 10 pounds heavier, I’d have gotten no work done due to a Cribs marathon, and I’d probably have spent the rest of my time seeing how far I could spit off the balcony.

And I have some writing friends who go to coffee shops and places like Panera. But I’m too much of a people watcher (eaves dropper) for that. By the end of the day I’d be all pulled up to someone’s table giving them my best Dr. Phil advice. And eating off their plate.

(Insert your own crafty transition here. I can’t think of one since I have blockage of the brain.)  The December issue of Christian Fiction Online Magazine is up! I always look forward to reading this. You can check it out HERE.

Thanks to Erin for sending me THIS LINK where you can send free postcards via the internet to our troops.

Okay, I stole this from my friend’s Facebook page, but it was fun. Here are the rules:

* Grab the book closest to you. Now.
* Go to page 56.
* Find the 5th sentence.
*Write that sentence as your status.
*Copy these instructions as a comment to your status.
*Don’t go looking for your favorite book, or the coolest one you have — just grab the closest one

Here’s mine: “Hard work can age anyone,” Sergei said.
Ain’t that the truth. Wise words from a romance novel…

Now it’s your turn. And tell me from what book you get your line from, too.

Speaking of creativity and writing, I read a GREAT book a few weeks ago. It’s my first suspense book, I think. Brandilyn Collins has written a winner with her latest Dark Pursuit. Her tagline is “Don’t Forget to Breathe,” and honestly I really did find myself gasping and holding my breath a few times. I loved how you were just compelled to turn the pages. Even if you don’t like suspense (and this one is not gory at all), it’s a great study in how to move a plot quickly and keep the reader turning the pages. I mean there was something happening ALL THE TIME. I stayed up ’til like 1 a.m. reading this in one evening. The next morning I was sleep deprived and rolled into school looking like I had hung out with the dry cows all night. You can read a sample chapter below this post. But I give this book two thumbs up.

JEN

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
Dark Pursuit
Zondervan (December 1, 2008)
by
Brandilyn Collins

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Brandilyn Collins is known for her trademark Seatbelt Suspense®. She is currently working on her 20th book. For chances to win free copies of her work, join her Fan Club on Facebook. Here’s what Brandilyn has to say about why she wrote Dark Pursuit:

In John Milton’s Paradise Lost Satan’s followers, kicked out of heaven, boast about storming the gates and reclaiming their territory. Beelzebub scoffs at their boasting as merely “hatching vain empires” and suggests a different revengeful scheme: seduce mankind away from God. So Satan visits the Garden of Eden to teach humans the very thing he and his cohorts have learned to be futile—the dark pursuit of hatching their own vain empires instead of following God. He presented man with this “gift” of death, disguised as life. And man fell for it.

Upon this theme of man’s fall and spiritual blindness, I created the characters and events in Dark Pursuit. The story clips along at a fast pace, with much symbolism running underneath.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Dark Pursuit—A twisting story of murder, betrayal, and eternal choices

Novelist Darell Brooke lived for his title as King of Suspense—until an auto accident left him unable to concentrate. Two years later, reclusive and bitter, he wants one thing: to plot a new novel and regain his reputation.

Kaitlan Sering, his twenty-two-year-old granddaughter, once lived for drugs. After she stole from Darell, he cut her off. Now she’s rebuilding her life. But in Kaitlan’s town two women have been murdered, and she’s about to discover a third. She’s even more shocked to realize the culprit—her boyfriend, Craig, the police chief’s son.

Desperate, Kaitlan flees to her estranged grandfather. For over forty years, Darell Brooke has lived suspense. Surely he’ll devise a plan to trap the cunning Craig.

But can Darell’s muddled mind do it? And—if he tries—with what motivation? For Kaitlan’s plight may be the stunning answer to the elusive plot he seeks…

Read the first chapter of Dark Pursuit, HERE.

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You know, some days I just can’t brave the cafeteria food. This morning I was so proud of myself for remembering to put the Target returns in my car, that I drove off and left my breakfast on the counter and my lunch in the fridge. (And then didn’t even go to Target.)  So I had to check out the cafeteria to see what they were having at lunch. I was hoping it was Taco day because tacos pretty much make the world go round. But, alas, it was not to be. It was “chicken” fried steak day, and there’s just not enough gravy in the world to make me eat pressed meat. So I ended up with two cheese sticks and a banana. Why does cafeteria food have to be so gross? Anyway, I’m trying to blot out the memory right now with orange juice and tortilla chips. It’s slowly working…but I will not stop eating until I feel better.

I got a little holiday booklet from Old Navy last week, and it has all sorts of coupons and zany holiday tips. Like these brilliant conversation starters:

1. Are you double-jointed?

2. What do I look like upside down?

3. Can I wear your sweater?

Can I just say that their are certain kind of girls for whom this page of tips is for…and I don’t think it’s us. I mean are these questions to ask if you WANT to give the impression you’ve had too much egg nog?

I have literally watched this YouTube clip over and over. It makes me laugh out loud every time. I love the dog’s eyes.

Did you know this week 3 movie theaters in Boston, NY, and L.A. will be showing the Chargers-Raiders football game in 3-D? Like they needed something else to make football more addicting to men. The NFL says if it works well, it just might be in the future for development. Grrreat. Now I can watch the game and be totally bored and lost WITH DORK GLASSES ON. Even better.

I happen to love ABC Family Channel’s 25 Days of Christmas. Did anyone else see Holiday in Handcuffs with Melissa Joan Hart and A.C. Slater last year? Yeah, I didn’t think so…

Well, anyway, not only do they do 25 days of Christmas movies, but they do games too!  THIS GAME had me yelling at the screen. You can find other ABC Family games HERE, but if you’re like me, they won’t exactly inspire feelings of yule and good cheer.  THIS GAME, though not really a Christmas theme, was more fun. But just in case you want to avoid studying for finals, grading finals, or TV is just a rerun again, that should provide plenty to keep you busy. And it will be good practice for those eye-hand coordination skills, which we all know are important when time to rip into packages on December 25th.

Have a lovely rest of the week. I’m going to pretend to write a novel and not think about the tortilla chip salt in my knife wound. (I cooked. Again. When will I learn?) And I might do a little more turkey bowling…

JEN

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Thanks to Debbie for tipping me off that there was a problem viewing the Katie Parker Christmas story. I could view it on one of my computers, but not on the other. So I reformatted it and hopefully it’s viewable to all!

I now return you to your regularly scheduled Saturday…

JEN

3 comments

I am BEYOND excited to share with you a preview of the Christmas short story now running in the December issue of Brio magazine. It features Katie Parker and Mad Maxine, two characters very near and dear to my heart.

I have always been totally in love with Christmas stories, Christmas shows, and Christmas movies. When I was little I even had special Christmas paper dolls so I could make up my own Christmas tales. There is something just so magical about the holiday season. So to get the opportunity to write a Christmas short story for the best tween/teen magazine out there THRILLS my heart.

You can read a snippet of it here. But for the rest…you gotta find the December issue of Brio at a Christian book store. But it’s SUCH a great issue. You won’t be sorry! (And not because my story’s in there.) This issue is chock-full of cool things to read. Like an article on toning your tummy. Um…is it just a coincidence that they ran that when I was in the mag too? I doubt it. I must go dig out my pilates ball… And there’s a great article on a teen who has a brother with Downs. And lots of advice and Q and A’s. I LOVE reading advice columns. But one of the coolest things is there’s a great feature of Barlow Girl, the best harmonizers in the whole universe. Among other things, the girls talk about their new Christmas CD and how they wrote one song on it called “Hallelujah (Light Has Come).” I was so excited to see they wrote that because on this CD it is my ABSOLUTE favorite. You can totally get it on iTunes for 99 cents like I did!!! (Or buy the whole CD, but economic crunch and all…)  Anyway, it is my new favorite Christmas song and stunningly beautiful. I totally sang it into my hairbrush just this morning.

And now without further ado…here’s (a piece of, just a scooch, a smidgen, a wee bit of) “A Katie Parker Christmas.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Get your long johns on, sweet pea. Don’t want your tushie to freeze.”

My foster grandmother, Maxine stands in my doorway, looking like a pink abominable snowman.

“I’m not going sledding with you again.” I turn the page of my People magazine. “I nearly broke my neck on the ramp you built last week.”

Maxine snorts. “Snow days are not for wienies.”

This is my second day off from school. And as usual, Maxine has trekked her way over here to draft me into her extreme winter sports. At her age, you’d think she’d be more concerned with breaking a hip–instead of breaking the town speed limit on a toboggan.

The bed gives as Maxine plops herself beside me. “What’s with the long face, Katie?”

I can’t hide anything from this woman, so I no longer try. “Christmas is less than two weeks. And I have been saving my allowance like crazy, but I still don’t have enough to get everyone really good presents.”

Maxine rolls her eyes. “Don’t worry about the others–as long as you have my gift.”

“You were easy to buy for–a box of Depends. It’s Millie and James I’m having trouble with.” Though my role in life is to rile Maxine, I’m quite serious about the gifts for my foster parents. What do you get a pastor and his wife–people who have everything? I’ve been working on knitting Milile a scarf, but right now it looks more like a misshapen beach towel. At least I’ve got Maxine’s already–a greatest hits collection of an eighties heavy metal band.

“I wouldn’t put much worry into it.”

I frown. “But it has to be perfect.”

My foster grandma kisses me on the forehead. “When it’s right, you’ll know.” She pats her chest. “Just make sure it comes from here.”

“Your bra?”

“The heart.”

****

The first day back at school after snow days is so painful. I listened to the radio for cancellations for over an hour this morning before accepting defeat and crawling out of bed.

I open my locker, wincing at the pain in my shoulder. I make a mental note never to go tubing down a hill with Maxine again. We always get airborne, and somehow I’m always the the soft spot she lands on.

“New girl, ten o’clock.” I turn at my friend Jeremy’s voice then angle my sights where he’s looking. “You should go talk to her for me, Katie.” He throws his books in the locker beside mine. “Tell her what a fine actor I am. What a nice guy. What a–”

“Chicken for not talking to her yourself?”

He blinks. “That  hurts.”

“She doesn’t exactly look like she’s ready for the manly wonder known as Jeremy Foster. ” In fact, the new girl looks like she’s ready to escape the building and hit the slushy road any moment.

“Fine. I’ll just watch her from afar. Hey, a group of us are going out for pizza tonight. Are you in?”

Envy knots in my gut like a big yarn ball connected to Millie’s scarf. “No, I’m saving my money. Christmas, you know.”

In Junior English, I open my copy of Hamlet and reread the last few scenes in case there’s a quiz. It would be so like my teacher to throw out a quiz after a few days off. As my eyes trip over some wherefores, thees, thous, and arts, Mrs. Bailey clears her throat to begin class.

“Class, we have a new student. Please welcome Josie Dawson.”

Surprised that I hadn’t even noticed the new girl, I turn toward the back of the room. Huddled in a corner seat is the object of Jeremy’s affection. She smiles weakly, her eyes darting around the room, then down to her desk.

After school I talk with some friends, then make my way to my car. Well, actually it’s Milie’s. My foster parents are going to get me a vehicle, but can’t seem to find the right one. I’m not exactly the best driver, so they want a really sturdy car. James says he’s looking for a good used tank.

As I turn on the ignition, David Crowder pours out my stereo. And Josie Dawson appears in my rear view.

I turn around and see her sitting on the sidewalk, her head dropped.

Something tugs at my heart, so I pull up beside her. “Hey, Josie, right?” I quickly introduce myself. “Do you need a ride?”

She shakes her head no.

“You’ve heard about my dirivng, haven’t you? Look, I did take out a small chicken coop last week, but I don’t care what you heard, there were no casualties.” Except for my pride. And Millie’s left headlight.

Josie smiles for the first time. “Thanks, but my dad should be here any moment.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll look for you tomorrow. You should eat lunch with me and my friends.” I definitely know what it’s like to be the new kid. Before I landed in In Between,  Texas and James and Millie took me in, I’d only moved a million times.

I wave goodbye and cruise down Main Street to the In Between Community Church.

“Hey, kid. What’cha doing here?” James looks up from his desk and grins. “And what’s a six letter word for trouble?”

I sit myself down in a chair. “M-a-x-i-n-e.”

********************************************

That’s it for now! But there’s still so much in store for Katie Parker and the mysterious Josie Dawson, so be sure and pick up a December issue of Brio magazine and find out what happens next!

Also say a prayer for me. As you read this, I’m out losing my religion on Black Friday.

JENNY

3 comments

Finally…the day in which we celebrate gluttony and disgusting amounts of eating is upon us! I LOVE Thanksgiving! Almost as much as I love this YouTube clip.

Why are some cats so talented and mine just stares and crunches kibble?

So on Thursday not only will we eat, but the ladies will gather (after they’ve cooked, served, AND cleaned…) and strategize the Black Friday shopping. Apparently some stores are opening (again) at four, and I have a feeling I will be expected to be all perky and present at said stores no later than 3:57. Cannot. Wait.

Actually 1/2 of the people I shop for are always with me on Black Friday, so I end up pretty much just tagging along and buying nothing. Instead I count the minutes between meals. “Just thirty more minutes until I can eat a breakfast burrito at McDonalds…”  “Just two more stops and it’s fajita time at Chalupaville..”  But it is a tradition. Apparently I’ve only missed one shopping expedition in all my years. And that was because I was in college and had to work. Stupid job.

Anyway, here are some ways I like to prepare for Black Friday.

1. Drink nothing for three days before the big event. Peeing just slows you down, and when you’re shopping with die-hards like my mom and aunt, they will not wait on you for stupid things like bathroom stops, tying your shoes, or helping a little old lady with her bags.

2. Pack snacks. Sometimes we make all the early sales in time to eat lunch at a normal hour. Other years we’re eating lunch about the time I usually brush my teeth and get ready for bed.

3. Wear comfortable shoes. Nobody cares if you get blisters or your feet hurt. If you cannot hack it, then you are blindfolded, bound, and left on someone else’s doorstep in hopes a new family will adopt you.

4. Shopping with the family on Thanksgiving is forever. Once you’re in, you’re in, and you cannot be elsewhere on Black Friday. It’s like a gang–blood in, blood out.

5. Waiting in long checkout lines is part of the game and no whining is allowed. But you still have to know when to apply the pitiful face we call “Please store employee just standing around, please open another register.” Learn it. Know it. Mean it.

6. There is no time for anything but shopping. You must shop through the hunger, the pain…the odd rearend sensations. I’ve told this story before, but one year I was walking around in the wee hours of the morning in a store and kept feeling this burning, pinching feeling in my gluteus maximus. I was like, “Well. That ain’t right.” I shook it off and kept going, kept shopping. We leave the store, and I get in the car with my mom. Then all of the sudden my butt just LIGHTS on fire. So as my mom drives, I yank down my pants, and there. . . is a wasp. A butt-smooshed wasp.

That’s all my tips. If they save even one of you, my job is done. Godspeed to all you fellow shoppers. And remember, a wise sage once said, “Anything you want on sale at Old Navy, you can get online.”

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

JEN

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