What a weekend! I hope everyone is safe from all the storms.

Did anyone watch Saturday Night Live? My dream came true, and Tina Fey appeared in the opening as Sarah Palin. I thought she did an amazing job. She looks so much like her. I didn’t really like the tone of the skit, but the acting was great. Sarah’s really coming under fire for her “God’s will” comments, and they TOTALLY capitalized on that. I’ll just leave that alone though. SNL still makes me happy, even when I don’t agree with their political leanings. And on a random note, for those of you who watch MAD TV, WHERE is the guy who plays Stuart?

So I’ve blogged before that I live in a location that attracts lots of these tiny snakes. Rock snakes or ring snakes. And they are not afraid to come into the house. In droves. They are a little bigger than a worm. My cat Grady, rest his dear fuzzy soul, would get them and always take care of it. My remaining cat, Miller, is a little more social and seems to enjoy their company. So it’s all up to me this summer. Last weekend I found four over the course of three days. So thinking there was a draft space under my front door, I attached even more weather stripping…um kind of on the outside. IT’s SOOO tacky. But I thought it was working. Then I noticed I had caught a lizard.

.

Or rather the adhesive had. This guy was still alive at last check, and nothing I did unstuck him. Sorry little dude. Good try though.

Saturday morning I got up early and put on my running shoes and my serious face to stomp out some juvenile diabetes. The annual JDRF walk was held at the University of Arkansas, and it was a lot of fun. And there were tons of snacks there. Who knew??  Had I known there would be unlimited mini-chocolate donuts and ice cream, I would’ve shown up last year! My good friend Holly’s daughter was diagnosed with JD recently, so we were Avery’s Hog Wild Team.

The campus at U of A is VERY hilly, and I thought the 3 mile walk was a little hard on me all the kids. You can see our Hog Wild t-shirts were very cool.

I guess there was a t-shirt design contest. You hung up your team t-shirt on this clothesline to be judged later. We apparently didn’t have an extra on hand, so for the team, I tried to talk my friend Betsy into giving up hers, but she wouldn’t budge. I don’t know what her problem was. What’s going topless when it comes to raising money for juvenile diabetes? Who wouldn’t do that?

Check out all this food.

Is that not awesome? And this isn’t even half of it! On the other side was a whole table of Little Debbie’s. LITTLE DEBBIE’S!!!! AND Yarnell’s was there with sugar-free ice cream. Mine was really good! All ten of them!

And then there were the cheerleaders standing along the sidelines as we walked, cheering us on.

When we walked by the first set, one of them (maybe not one who’s on the honor roll) yelled, “Go Diabetes!” Um…I think diabetes is doing just fine on its own. No need to cheer for it.

But wouldn’t it be cool to have your own gang of cheerleaders for those times you ALWAYS need motivation? Like when I alarm goes off. I set my alarm to go off at five every morning. Do you think I get up at five? No. I do not. I don’t even get up at six. But if I had a group of yippy girls cheering me to not hit snooze for the eightieth time, I just might roll out of bed.

And what about when you’re at work (or school), and lunch is over, and there’s really nothing else to look forward to. (Because let’s face it, after you’ve eaten the last chip, what else is there?) Some peppy cheerleaders yelling, “YAY! You can do it! Keep going!” might help. (Or I might want to hit them, but hopefully not.) Or what about when you’re waiting in that loonnnng line at Wal-Mart or the drive-thru or the DMV? Inspirational yells would be very beneficial.

After the walk, I hightailed it home, got ready, hopped in the car again, and picked up my two friends to go to Little Rock. We had a date with WWE Raw. It was interesting to say the least. My next series to release, A Charmed Life, features professional wrestlers, though I cannot reveal how. Bribing me with mini chocolate donuts will not force it out of me, so don’t even try.

The surprising thing about the event was the LARGE number of children there. UNREAL. And the WWE knows this, so they really play up to it by picking kids to be “managers” and ring the bell, etc. I never got picked. Not once. Always some eight or ten year old pipsqueak. Totally unfair.

Well, I will tell you more about WWE on Wednesday. And don’t forget, if you’re in the Minneapolis area, you need to stop by Mall of America on Saturday for the big-o-book signing. Over 120 Christian authors sitting there. Pens ready. Writing fingers warmed up. Smiles on. Just for you. And I’ll be there. And I won’t have my mind on other things at all. I will JUST be thinking about the signing. And not how much I want to be in H&M store (which is NO WHERE even close to where I live) and how the only other one I’ve bee in is in NYC. And I won’t be thinking about the theme park there. And I won’t be thinking about the cookie store. And I won’t be thinking about the A.C.E.S’s flight simulation. Or the aquarium. Or the Nascar motor speedway. Or the many places to get ice cream. Nope. I’ll just be looking for you. So be there!

Have a great week.

JEN

7 comments

Had another funeral today. (Is it me, or is it kinda dangerous to know me the last few months?)  A big hug to my mom, who lost her best friend of 20+ years after a long, courageous fight with cancer. They were quite the dynamic duo, and this family has really been in my prayers this week.

On a happier note, I’m so excited for Saturday Night Live this weekend. They say it’s their most anticipated season in their three decade history due to all the political impersonations. I think it will be worth tuning in for. Plus you can see Michael Phelps! (In case you didn’t totally OD on him this summer.)

As of yesterday, Lorne Michaels did not know who was going to play Sarah Palin, but he said it couldn’t be ruled out that Tina Fey might stop by. Oh, little piece of heaven! That would be awesome. She’d be perfect. Palin has a very distinct speaking/communicating style. Did you see any of her interview with Charles Gibson? Very interesting to a communications teacher like me…vewy interesting…

Thanks to all who have helped me pick out a character name. Again. I don’t know why I have such a hard time with names. They just have to be perfect, you know? They just have to fit. You guys gave some GREAT suggestions. Today I finally did the smart thing and bought a baby name book. There are some crazy names in there. And you can even pick names by what “category” they tend to fall in. Like there is a category for “dorks” in this book. I’m not even kidding. (Sorry to all you Gladys’s out there. And Imogene–you’re on the short list too.)

And this book will hook you up if you want a name from the Muppets. Or if you are thinking, “Gosh, I sure would like a truck driver name for my baby.” And who hasn’t had that thought at least once in their life only to find there was no help? Well, search no more. There are “Names That Command Respect” and also “Names for Grocery Clerks.” Also a section of “Names that Double as Pets’ Names.” That would really come in handy for those people who aren’t sure if they’re having a baby or a Schnauzer.

After I walk my little heart out for Juevenile Diabetes Saturday morning, I’m jumping in the car (after a shower, of course) and heading for Little Rock, AR to see THIS.  Don’t be jealous.  My two friends, Thelma and Louise, are going with me. I bought us some fake tattoos since I didn’t really have time to get any real ones today. But it was totally on my to-do list. Right under drink heavily. Instead of getting a tat, I went to Target instead. I hope I don’t regret that substitution. You can be sure that I will have pics for you. Unless I run off with a big, strong sweaty wrestler. Like THIS guy. So if I don’t blog Monday…you’ll know I’ve found my true love. Or at least someone who looks good in a spandex unitard.

Tyler Perry’s movie The Family That Prey’s opens this weekend, so if you don’t have a professional wrestling match to watch, go see this! As mentioned, even if it’s eau de poop, I’m buying a ticket. I am big on supporting this guy. He is taking a stand in Hollywood and makes it clear he’s a believer. You can see a GMA interview with him HERE.

Thank you Super Agent Chip MacGregor for passing on this fabulous YouTube clip. Whether you like Obama or not, you have to admit there is something very unique and different about him. We just didn’t know HOW unique he was…

And we all know I spend too much time in Facebook.But I always love seeing everyone’s status updates. Especially blog friend Shauna, whose snappy irreverence cracks me up on a regular basis. Today she posted this video. As she advises, watch a few seconds, then skip to about minute marker 1.50. Watch the guy in the center.

I’m not sure all the M&Ms I ingested this week were THAT good. I mean, that video…there are no words for how divinely awful that is. And the pointy jazz fingers of the guy…priceless. It’s impossible to watch that and NOT think God is so good. Priceless.   (Except for the fact that I had to stick my ipod in my ears to get that song out of my head. I don’t want to hum it if I can’t do the dance moves too. And I simply don’t have time to get them down this weekend.)

Wow, I think I just blogged a whole book. I’m full of blogginess today.

Have a great weekend. Go body slam someone.

JEN

11 comments

How is it only Wednesday? SIGHHHHH. So tired of this week. And every other day that ends in WORK.

So I didn’t watch the VMAs because I only get like three channels now, but I hear Britney was in good form. I’m really glad. And you can just see a different person in the pics of her lately, you know? Her eyes aren’t all glazed over. Like mine do when I eat one too many packages of M&Ms. . .

Okay, seriously, I bought this GIANT sized bag of Halloween packs of M&Ms. I’m taking them to a conference next week for a HUGE book signing. And when my books don’t draw anyone, I will start beaning people with candy. No just kidding. I’ll pass them out. Anyway…so I have like a million packs of M&Ms, right? Um, no. Because in a matter of days I have managed to go all Harry Potter on them and make them disappear. Fitting into your pants is so overrated anyway.

Speaking of the conference, if you are going to be ANYWHERE near Minneapolis, MN, on Saturday September 20th, you need to get to the Mall of America. We can shop together. No, I mean, you can come to the HUGE Christian fiction author book signing. Here’s the skinny:

ACFW booksigning
127 Christian novelists
Location: Best Buy and Sears Rotundas and connecting hallway, Mall of America, Bloomington, MN
When: Saturday, September 20, 2008
1-3 p.m.
Participating Authors:
Tamera Alexander

Jennifer AlLee

Jenny B. Jones, who can’t fit into her pants now thanks to this signing

A.K. Arenz

Diane Ashley

Karen Ball

Janet Lee Barton

James Scott Bell

Joseph Bentz
Jenny B. Jones, who can’t wait to get away from her chronically meowing cat.

Terri Blackstock

Robin Caroll

Patricia PacJac Carroll

Jeanie Smith Cash

Eleanor Clark

Debra Clopton

Gloria Clover

Brandilyn Collins

Mary Connealy

Lyn Cote

Kathryn Cushman

Jenny B. Jones, who should’ve bought candy she didn’t like, except that thing doesn’t exist.

Margaret Daley

KM Daughters

Susan Page Davis

Mary Davis

Janet Dean

Megan DiMaria

Brandt Dodson

Lena Nelson Dooley

Cecelia Dowdy

Sharon Dunn

Wanda Dyson

Lynette Eason

Meredith Efken

Jenny B. Jones who doesn’t know how she’s supposed to sign books with all the ADD distractions of the Mall of America.

Leanna Ellis

Sharon Ewell Foster

Miralee Ferrell

Tina Ann Forkner

Darlene Franklin

Jonathan Friesen

Rhonda Gibson

Terri Gillespie

Debby Giusti

Jenny B. Jones, who wonders if Sears is still just Sears at the most famous mall in the world.

Beth Goddard

Cathy Gohlke

Rene Gutteridge

Cathy Marie Hake
Kelly Eileen Hake

Karen Harter

Rachel Hauck

Roxanne Henke

Cynthia Hickey

Patti Hill

Sharon Hinck

Joan Hochstetler

Steven Hunt

Angela Hunt

Denise Hunter

Annette Irby

Jennifer Johnson

Jenny B. Jones, who thinks the peanuts in M&Ms are super good for you. Especially in mass quantities.

Golden Keyes Parsons

Deb Kinnard

Jenny B. Jones, who will not have any M&Ms left by tomorrow unless there is an intervention.

Julie Klassen

Kathleen Kovach

Harry Kraus

Patti Lacy

Maureen Lang

Jeanne Marie Leach

Tosca Lee

Jenny B. Jones, who wishes she couldn’t get enough of something else…like tap water and apples.

Julie Lessman

Michelle Levigne

Sherri L. Lewis

Elizabeth Ludwig

Christine Lynxwiler

Richard L. Mabry

Sharlene MacLaren

Gail Martin

Debby Mayne

Vickie McDonough

Andrew McGuire

Susan Meissner

Becky Melby

Dana Mentink

Amber Miller

Jenny B. JOnes, who will never buy candy again as long as she lives. Or until next week.

Judith Miller

Sara Mills

Siri Mitchell

Nancy Moser

Janelle Mowery

Elizabeth Musser

Mark Mynheir

Jill Nelson

Mae Nunn

Jenny B. Jones, who hopes there is a bathroom near her table at the signing because she tends to pee more than the average human being.

John Olson

Donita K. Paul

Trish Perry

Marta Perry

Allie Pleiter

Cara Putman

Deborah Raney

Sandra Robbins

Paul Robertson

John Robinson

Jenny B. Jones, who just needs a little understanding for her obsessive food issues.

Martha Rogers

Cynthia Ruchti

Gail Sattler

Kim Vogel Sawyer

Jenny B. Jones, who hopes there’s at least a Fruilatti place near when she’s watching everyone else sign books.

Shelley Shephard Gray

Virginia Smith

Lynette Sowell

Jenny B. Jones, who deserves a medal for leaving at least a few in the bag

Candice Speare

Kathryn Springer

Denice Stewart

Sarah Anne Sumpolec, who also writes nifty YA!

Michelle Sutton, who ALSO writes nifty YA!!

Camy Tang

Donn Taylor

Janice Thompson

Cindy Thomson

Jenny B. Jones, who’s running out of things to say here, but some sugar would probably recharge my brain.

Missy Tippens

Carrie Turansky

ML Tyndall

Amy Wallace, who probably eats nice things like fruit and celery

Susan May Warren

Linda Wichman

Beth Wiseman

Cheryl Wyatt

Kathleen Y’Barbo

YEAH. So big book signing. I’ve actually um…never done one. I spoke at a church last Christmas and signed some after that, but it wasn’t some formal thing. I’m just not your book signing type of girl, much to the frustration and stress of those near and dear. If I went by the name of JK Rowling or Meg Cabot, I would be a book signing fool. I would sign books until my hand rotted off. But I’m not. So I probably need to bring stuff to the signing to do. Unless one of YOU shows up. Then we can go shop and go get a cinnamon pretzel! And ride the roller coaster in Mall of America! Actually, I don’t do roller coasters since I don’t like to puke on people, but if you came to the MOA, I totally would!

So while I’m not excited about a book signing (though it’s a swell idea for everyone else and a lot of work has gone into it), I am totally psyched for the mall. I can’t wait to blog about it!

So talking about the Clearblue commercial had others reminding me of other commercials. And Julia, I totally agree–I really like the Credit Report commericals–like the one where the guy is dressed like a pirate in a themed restaurant. Here’s another series of faves…

Finally, once again I need your help naming a character. Did you see the rocker nurse on American Idol? Imagine her. In high school. A total tough girl, yet she is unintentionally funny. Big, pink spiky hair. I need a cool, but not-so-feminine name for her. The one I originally picked is too close to another character’s name. And the one I picked to replace it RHYMES with the stinkin’ MAIN CHARACTER’S name. Sheesh. Anyway, here are the choices so far…lemme know what you think.

Roxi
Trixie
Zelda
Trudi
Midge

Have a fabulous Wednesday. And buy your plane tickets now to Minneapolis! Me and my empty candy dish will be looking for you!

JEN

22 comments

Had a great week of rain and cooler temps here in Arkansas. I hate it for those in the path of the hurricane destruction, but it sure was nice to see the 130 degree temperatures leave. (or something close to that…)

I am in such a cooking/eating funk. If I eat one more salad, I’m going to hurl my guts up. And cooking…well, that always involves cleaning the stove. And the floor. And the ceiling. So last night was a sweet potato. And tonight’s two course dinner was peanut butter on spelt bread and an apple. (We might call it a ten course meal if you count all the M&M packs I downed as appetizers.) And I have got to break myself of consuming orange juice and Fritos all day long. But they’re so good together. Like chocolate and caramel. Milk and cereal. Me and Prince William.

I love commercials. I was watching TV the other day, and caught one for a pregnancy test. Check out Clearblue Easy’s new tagline: Clearblue Easy…the most sophisticated piece of technology you’ll ever pee on.

I always have a CD and a book going (not at the same time). Obviously I’m still listening to Tomlin’s Hello Love, but I’m about to wear it out. I tend to get a new cd and play it over and over until I’m sick of it. Nothing in moderation. And I’m reading this book with my church.

\

It’s about living radically. What would you do if you knew you only had 30 days to live? I’m only about 1/3 of the way into it yet, and honestly, I haven’t done any of the little homework activities at the end of the chapters because if I only had 30 days to live, I wouldn’t spend it doing HOMEWORK. But it does get a girl to thinking. What would YOU do if you knew you only had a month to live? Should we start a new list?

I would…

1. Go rapelling

2. Write Carol Burnett a thank you note.

3. Hang out with my family a lot. (and let them cook for me since my skills are so limited to Fritos and PB these days)

4. Use all my sick days at work without a smidge of guilt.

5. Say all sorts of meaningful crap to everyone I knew and loved.

6. Pee on an expensive piece of electronics and call Clearblue and tell them they were wrong.

7. Take those ballroom lessons I always meant to get to. (Not that they exist around here. But if I wanted hunting lessons or turkey calling help, that’s readily available.)

8. Try in vain to find a home for my brain-damaged cat who meowed for 45 minutes straight yesterday during a portion of my Sunday I like to call “If I Don’t Take A Nap, I’m Going To Rip Someone’s Jugular Out.”

9. Write a detailed plan for my funeral. Like no open casket. Puhlease. And I want to be buried in my yoga-wear. And do not show any pictures of me from the 80s. None of us were responsible for our hairstyles. It was all those greenhouse gasses we were inhaling. It distorted our ability to see reason and have good taste in hair heights.

10. Eat all the junk food I want. The book says you are not to do that as that is disrespectful to your last days, but I find nothing but honor in mini-chocolate donuts and yoo-hoos, and if the authors would like to debate that issue, then you just bring it.

So yeah, I’ll let you know if my life dramatically changes after reading this book. If I write next week that I’ve quit my job and am living in my car down by the river, you’ll know why.

I’m rereading this book:

This was THE book I consumed right before I went to the American Christian Fiction Writers Conference in 2005 that led to the contract for In Between. I will spare you the details today, but my publishing story was such an amazing God thing. And though this book isn’t a magic formula, it just points you in the right direction and reaffirms that God is a big God and still does BIG things. And nowhere in this book does the author tell me not to eat junk food.

And I still recommend this book. I enjoyed it a lot, and my two friends Leslie and Kim just finished it this past week.

Love Starts With Elle by Rachel Hauck. I don’t like most Christian fiction romance novels. I’m more of a Nora Roberts, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Sophie Kinsella, and Jenifer Crusie fan myself. But this book kept me turning the pages. And Leslie and Kim don’t exactly love to read, so for them to give their two thumbs up is saying a lot.

Have a great week. I’d love to hear what you’re reading. Or what you’d do if you had 30 days left. Please don’t tell me it would be to eat alfalfa sprouts and goji berries.

Finally, I stole this from someone’s else’s blog, but for those of you familiar with contemporary worship music, this is kinda funny.

See you Wednesday.

JEN

10 comments

Omigosh. Well some of us have waited a long time for this week. This major, major, history making event thankfully available via television. An event that just by watching has you on the edge of your seat and wishing you were there? An event that has the ability to unite America and solve all of our problems?

The Republican National Convention? BAH! I’m talking about the return of 90210!!! Hellleeewww!

Brenda, Kelly, and word is–maybe one day even Dylan! AND…if you blinked, you would’ve missed it, but Sue Ellen from Dallas was totally on there too. So rich kids, the Peach Pit, great clothes, 90s stars AND a diva from Dallas?

So last night I went to a Shane and Shane concert.

This guy opened for opening act Bethany Dillon. I had no idea who he was. Maybe you’ve heard of him. Everyone around me had. His name is Ben Something-That-Rhymes-With-Hector. And I don’t remember his last name, but I remember being told that I WOULD recall it because it rhymed with Hector. Fat lot of good that did. Actually I think it’s Rector. But it also might’ve been Sector, Bector, or Schpector. Anyway, he had the most impressive, amazing voice. It was like Michael Buble meets John Mayer. He just needs some catchy songs to shoot him into stardom and Grey’s Anatomy song-of-the week status.

Here’s Bethany.

She was sick and snotty-nosed. But she has a great voice. She sings with her eyes closed. It was a little uncomfortable to watch. Are you one of those people who accidentally, unintentionally mimics the expressions of other people. I am. So I kept finding myself scrunching my face up. I was kind of tired by the time she was done. And in need of some Botox.

Here’s Shane and Shane.

Shane on the right is married to Bethany. . .

I was amazed at how well these guys harmonize. When you hear harmony on a CD you instantly think of all the studio engineering that goes into it. But these guys are the real deal. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard two people more talented at wrapping their voices together. Better than the Judds! (Though the Shanes probably couldn’t do justice to Love Can Build a Bridge…)

By now you probably get that I see “famous” people everywhere. It’s a gift, I tell you. Don’t be jealous. But at the concert, I saw Joey Fatone’s twin.

He was like WHY are you taking my picture, FREAK? Poor guy. I really think I weirded him out. I had to take quite a few pics because the lighting was so bad. He probably thinks I’m a stalker and expecting to see my face peeking in his bedroom window tonight. (Sorry to disappoint, but I had papers to grade.)

And this is a bad shot of him, but I found Jason Mraz!!

It’s so him. I really wanted to go up to him and beg him to tell me what “ I said tragedy is how you’re gonna spend, the rest of your nights with the light ,on so shine the light on all of your friends when it all amounts to nothing in the end” STINKIN’ MEANS!!! Jason Mraz, WHY do I want to shine the light on all of my friends? That sounds rude.

Okay, well we’ve survived the Dem and Rep conventions. I cannot WAIT to see Saturday Night Live’s take on all the political players.  It almost makes it all worth it.

Have a great weekend.

JEN

7 comments