Happy Monday!

I went to the health food store today. Do you know what I learned? I learned that mahi mahi fish are “voracious eaters” and can gain 10% of their body weight in one day. Is this supposed to amaze me? Give me a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and I can do that in one sitting.

It’s like random facts have been jumping out at me. I’ve heard them everywhere this past week. Did you know If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. Given my career as a teacher, I could probably power my own Starbucks.

Speaking of random, I think my next pet might be a bunny.

Who knew bunnies were so useful? I wonder if I can get one that staples.

So a few weeks ago I went to a semi-pro baseball game. I have to admit…I’m unAmerican and do not like baseball. I don’t. It’s boring. There’s too much of THIS going on…

Yeah. Nothing. NOTHING going on. Way too much downtime for me. And what does any girl do during downtime? EAT. When hot dogs of questionable origin start looking good to me, you KNOW that’s too much free time.

The Arkansas Natural’s mascot is a Sasquatch. None of us there knew why.

So I don’t know really what or who he is, but I’m pretty sure he has an identical twin out there somewhere. And I dated him.

He wouldn’t let me take a shot from the front. I think his hairy celebrity status has gone to his head.

And what goes GREAT with a baseball game? Torrential rain!!!

So after two rain bursts, we finally gave up and headed to my friend’s Blazer. I had gone to the game to see some fireworks and hear the symphony. But I had to settle for some Madonna in the car and a sparkler a few days later.

So my super editor Jamie and I have been talking about Twilight the movie. I’ve finally accepted that the actress for Bella is a good pick. But Edward? Both of us are TRYING to withhold judgment. But it ain’t easy. Check out this Entertainment Weekly photo she found. You’ll have to scroll to the middle of the page HERE.

WHAT is with all that makeup? And do vampires wear lipstick? Why is he so pasty white? Why are his eyebrows so caterpillary? Why does he come closer to resembling a zombie more than a vampire? I don’t know ANY vampires that look like that. But I do remember someone else who does… He TOTALLY looks like the albino monk from Princess Bride. I don’t know what Bella’s thinking. If that were my boyfriend, I’d be all like, “You have GOT to go get some Mystic Tan. At the very least, some tinted moisturizer.” And what’s with the shirt hanging open? Is this supposed to be hot? Cause it’s not. Vampires are STRONG, Albino One. There should be some muscle there! What’s under his shirt? More Martha White pasty whiteness.

I should go write a book or field emails from offended albino monks. Have a great Monday!

JEN

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I’m so glad it’s Friday. Friday means I can sleep in. Friday means I can stay home all day and check Facebook write. Yesterday I was in the car for like three hours. I hate being in the car even for five minutes.

Besides the fact that no writing got done (but that’s what weekends are for, right?), I had a GREAT week. This is one of my favorite times of the year–Adventure Week!!! This is what we call VBS or vacation Bible school at my church. My church puts on a HUGE production for Adventure Week. I love being able to participate. This year my super cute nephew went!

“Jennifer is the BEST aunt in the world! She’s never mean and she knows the value of a McDonalds drive-thru eating vegetables!”

Check out this stage for Adventure Week. Our theme was Dirty Jobs, like the TV show on Discovery. (Who has yet to run a segment on teaching)

Isn’t that cool? And another cool thing is we tell our Bible stories through mini-plays or through characters. When I was in VBS as a kid we heard the stories through these archaic things called felt boards. Here’s a church that also likes to reminisce on their felt board past.

So on Wednesday I got to tell (act out) the story. It was SOOOO much fun. I was Super Sally the Stubborn Stain Solver, a little girl who was crazy about stain removal and not so crazy about her little brother. But I decided Sally needed a little speech impediment, so she became Thooper Thally the Thtubbon Thtain Tholver. (At one point I had to apologize for thpitting on the front row.) Here’s my cool set.

Now Super Sally was an expert on cleaning and stain removal, so before we started, I had to just spend some time with all those cleaning supplies and familiarize myself with them. I’m just not interested in anything cleaning related. At one point the sound and light guy saw me on stage head down, staring at all the stuff, and he said, “Are you praying?” Um, yes! Yes! That’s EXACTLY what I’m doing! Actually i was thinking Tide? What’s that? Pre-treater? You mean you don’t just throw the shirt away if you spill something on it?

Cleanliness REALLY takes a hit when I’m down to the last month of a book deadline. Like right now, I’ve GOT to tear away from the computer and clean my kitchen. There’s been a green evening bag in the floor all week. Which begs the questions: 1. Why haven’t I picked it up? 2. Why would an evening bag be in the kitchen? 3. Why do I even OWN an evening bag? I do not know the answers to those queries. I’m blaming it on the eagles.

Anyway, back to Adventure Week. We have a ministry tool EVEN BETTER than any felt board. It’s a slime machine!

Nothing says “I love Jesus” more than some purple goopy stuff! Our kids LOVE it. I don’t know why. When I was a kid I didn’t like anything that meant instant bath. But this slime machine is a huge hit.

But you know, how cool would it be to have your OWN slime machine? I know, as a teacher I would LOVE to have one. “No, Tommy there aren’t any dumb questions, but that’s the closest anyone ever gotten. Step inside my slime chamber, please.” Or when your little brother is driving you nuts? Or when your spouse ate the LAST pack of Oreos? Slime them.

This week I’m (trying) to read this book:

It’s another book about a girl who goes to a prestigious girls school. BUT no Gossip Girls here…it’s actually a secret school for spy training! Very clever premise. The book’s pretty good. But it’s kind of easy to put it down though. (Maybe I’ll find it on my kitchen floor later.) So since YA is my book choice this week, what are some great YA reads?

Have a great weekend. I’m going to try put my kitchen to rights. I think on my last walk-through I saw some skis, my nun chucks, and Osama Bin Laden.

JEN– Who should be writing. Or at least cleaning. But instead is blogging. And eating.

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It’s raining here this week. Makes me want to nap. And read. And NOT write or go to appointments.

I’m reading a RIVETING book right now.

It’s all about how processed sugar is evil and ruining our lives. Which is good. I needed something new to blame my life on. This book is a great read because I’m supposed to be FINISHING my own book this month, and I can’t do that when I’m nose deep in someone else’s novel. But I can’t say Sugar Busters calls out to me when I’m writing, “Jennifer…you must read me now. You haven’t gotten to the chapter on why you should avoid beets and potatoes…” It’s just not a temptation.

I drink a lot (LOT) of bottled water. As in Al Gore would be SERIOUSLY mad at me if he saw my daily heap of water bottles. This week I’m a Dasani girl, but Aquafina has come out with a new water called Aquafina Alive Satisfy.

Quite the long name. Can you see ordering one of those at a ballgame? “Yes, I want two hot dogs and a peach-mango Aquafina Alive Satisfy.” The gimmick with this water is that it’s filled with FIBER. Ew. IT has all the coolness factor of carrying around a Metamucil can. With a straw. So if Pepsi Co. wanted a long name for their new Aquafina, why not go with Aquafina Water That Makes Your Toilet Happy?

I love to see pics of people reading the Katie Parker books!

Thanks to Erin for sending me this pic of her niece Emma E. reading In Between at her lake cabin. Emma is from Chicago, a place I’ve only seen from the airport. But I’ve heard y’all have good pizza. An Oprah. And some baseball team. BTW, love those pink pj pants, Emma!

If you haven’t seen Kitt Kittridge: American Girl, you have GOT to go. It was so great. It has that girl from Little Miss Sunshine, Stanley Tucci, Will Smith’s daughter, Joan Cusack (who just makes the world a better place), and Chris O’Donnell, who has like five kids of his own in real life. It also has Julia Ormond, who was in the remake of Sabrina (you MUST watch the original with Audrey Hepburn), but has not been seen from in YEARS.

I LOVED this movie. It’s not too long (only 90 minutes), it has nifty costumes, a GREAT layered plot, great acting, and lots of kid actors who will make you think “WHERE do I know that face??” like 50 million times throughout the movie. I had Barbies when I was a kid, but if there had been Kitt Kittridge dolls, who cared more about being a hard cracking journalist in the Depression era instead of being a size zero with boobs that would make her topple over in real life, then I would have definitely have traded in my Barbies!

Okay, I must go memorize some lines for tonight’s gig for Bible school. I’m Suzie the Stain Solver or something like that. I’ve decided to speak with an accent, so this is going to require much rehearsal until I’m ready for my close-up.

Have a great week.

JEN

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Summer is FLYING. That means, not only will I be finishing a book at the end of the month, but I’ll also be going back to school. I don’t understand what sucks all the time out of summer. It’s like going to Wal-Mart. You go in for a few things at noon. And by the time you return to your car, it’s almost your bedtime and you’re pushing two carts. PLEASE somebody push the pause button on summer. I can’t face August right now. August and I have never been BFFs.

As mentioned, last week I went to my church for a huge fireworks display. What I forgot to mention was that I saw Suri Cruise there! (Or at least her Scientological body double.) The pics are sooo bad, but if you squint with your left eye and cross your right, I think you’ll see what I mean.

See! That’s totally (almost) her! Here she is again. A side profile shot.

“Mom, the other kids at preschool laughed at me when I told them the Mother Ship was on its way to pick me up. Can I put the Klingon curse on them?”

LIke most states, in Arkansas it’s illegal to ride in the back of a truck. I was driving in town and snapped this photo. This candidate for district court judge does NOT get my vote.

“My PR people are the BEST!”

YA author Michelle Sutton reviews a TON of books. (Like I don’t know how she finds time to eat. Or sleep. Or watch E!) She read On The Loose and made it her featured book of the month! Thanks, Michelle! You can see her review HERE.

(NO) thank you to Sheila for sending me THIS website. Made me want to hurl my computer at the wall.

I saw these in a fashion mag. I might be eating my words and sporting these shoes next fall, but KEDS, what are you thinking?

“I come with a complimentary pair of tube socks.”

Congrats to Keith Urban and wife Nicole. Had the baby Monday, named her Sunday. I guess it’s better than having her on Tuesday and naming her Monday. Then everyone would be like, “Monday Urban, I don’t know what it is, but your name makes me VIOLENT!” Or she’d grow up hearing “I hate Monday!” Because who ever says “Monday is the best!” Nobody, that’s who.

Okay, I’ve got to get back to writing and watching July slip away. Have a great day!

JEN

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I will be taking a blog break tomorrow, hopefully eating homemade ice cream (hint to the family) and anything else that a Chinette heavy duty plate will hold.

Again, thanks for the humorous book recommendations. Keep ‘em coming.

This past Sunday night my church had their first annual fireworks show for the community. Honestly, I was expecting this puny little performance, but it was AWESOME. It lasted like 20 loud minutes! I stole a picture from someone’s Facebook.

(picture courtesy of J. Judd’s Facebook page. Sorry I ripped you off!)

It might be hard to tell, but those crosses are HUGE. Very tall. Statuesque. (Reminds me of myself.) Anyway, it was cool to see the fireworks against the backdrop of the crosses. And the youth group was there selling ice cream, so even though I TOTALLY did not want to eat any ice cream, I figured it was my Christian duty to support them and their fundraiser. So I bought one or two (or three) things of ice cream. And I couldn’t just throw it away. That would be rude. So I HAD to eat it. Oh, the things we do for the Lord.

Thanks to Sheila and Erin for sending me this link.

You can see the outtakes HERE. They are more charming than they are funny. And the Rwandan kids are my FAVORITE. I love how in one version the Laotians are looking at him like, “Dude. You are NUTS. You call THOSE dancing skills?” I wouldn’t say Matt is really doing a dance. I think when it looks like that it comes closer to falling under the header of “jig.” And not everyone can pull off a jig.

I have some friends who keep up with the Bachelorette. I watched a two minute video on YouTube and saw all I needed to see.

In honor of the Fourth of July, I leave you with one final YouTube clip. This is a piece of a long series of clips of wedding singers who will customize their gig according to themes. This is the Patriotic Redneck Country Singer Bad Dresser Save Some Buffalo Wings For Me wedding theme.

Finally, Kelli Standish and crew at PulsePoint Design fixed up my sickly “About Me” page on my website. They did a great job. Take a look HERE!

Have a great three day weekend. Don’t poke anyone’s eye out with a sparkler.

JEN

P.S. See below for a bonus book review! I read a book. . . and I actually liked it.

My review:

So I liked this book. I know I’m kind of a book snob. Usually it has to be really funny or a blazing page turner for me to like it. This book is just a great romance read. Takes place in a small town (which I like), and even though it’s apparently the second book in a series, you don’t have to have read book no. 1 (which I haven’t). Honestly romance in Christian fiction is often a little hard for me to get through, but this one was different. Good different. It was a quick read, and even though I am supposed to be totally busting out some pages on a looming deadline, I kept finding excuses to pick up the book. I can’t wait to put this on my classroom shelf and share it with my teenage students. (With the admonition that they should NEVER get engaged after two months, of course.) Read it and tell me you don’t like it! See below for a rundown on the author, the book, and a link to the first chapter.

This week, the

Christian Fiction Blog Alliance

is introducing

Love Starts With Elle

(Thomas Nelson - July 8, 2008)

by

Rachel Hauck

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Rachel Hauck is a forty-something, a child of the ’60’s, ’70’s, ’80’s, ’90’s and ’00’s, who roller skated through the ’70’s into the ’80’s with Farrah Fawcet hair and a three-speed orange Camero. She graduated from Ohio State University (Go Buckeyes!) with a degree in Journalism.

After graduation, she hired on at Harris Publishing as a software trainer, determined to see the world. But, she’s traveled to Ireland, Spain, Venezuela, Mexico, Australia, Canada and the U.S. from California to Maine.

Rachel met Tony, her husband, in ‘87, at church, of all places. They married in ‘92.
They don’t have any children of their own, just lots of kids-in-the-Lord and they love them all. However, they do have two very spoiled dogs, and a very demanding cat.

With a little help from my friends, my first book was published in ‘ 04, Lambert’s Pride, a romance novel. My current release is Sweet Caroline from Thomas Nelson. Romantic Times Book Club gave both books their highest rank of 4.5 stars, with Love Starts With Elle being honored as Top Pick!

ABOUT THE BOOK

Elle’s living the dream-but is it her dream or his?

Elle loves life in Beaufort, South Carolina-lazy summer days on the sand bar, coastal bonfires, and dinners with friends sharing a lifetime of memories. And she’s found her niche as the owner of a successful art gallery too. Life is good.

Then the dynamic pastor of her small town church sweeps her off her feet. She’s never known a man like Jeremiah-one who breathes in confidence and exhales all doubt. When he proposes in the setting sunlight, Elle hands him her heart on a silver platter.

But Jeremiah’s just accepted a large pastorate in a different state. If she’s serious about their relationship, Elle will take “the call,” too, leaving behind the people and place she loves so dearly. Elle’s friendship with her new tenant, widower Heath McCord, and his young daughter make things even more complicated.

Is love transferrable across the miles? And can you take it with you when you go?

If you would like to read the first chapter, go HERE

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