Happy Monday!

I went to the health food store today. Do you know what I learned? I learned that mahi mahi fish are “voracious eaters” and can gain 10% of their body weight in one day. Is this supposed to amaze me? Give me a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and I can do that in one sitting.

It’s like random facts have been jumping out at me. I’ve heard them everywhere this past week. Did you know If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. Given my career as a teacher, I could probably power my own Starbucks.

Speaking of random, I think my next pet might be a bunny.

Who knew bunnies were so useful? I wonder if I can get one that staples.

So a few weeks ago I went to a semi-pro baseball game. I have to admit…I’m unAmerican and do not like baseball. I don’t. It’s boring. There’s too much of THIS going on…

Yeah. Nothing. NOTHING going on. Way too much downtime for me. And what does any girl do during downtime? EAT. When hot dogs of questionable origin start looking good to me, you KNOW that’s too much free time.

The Arkansas Natural’s mascot is a Sasquatch. None of us there knew why.

So I don’t know really what or who he is, but I’m pretty sure he has an identical twin out there somewhere. And I dated him.

He wouldn’t let me take a shot from the front. I think his hairy celebrity status has gone to his head.

And what goes GREAT with a baseball game? Torrential rain!!!

So after two rain bursts, we finally gave up and headed to my friend’s Blazer. I had gone to the game to see some fireworks and hear the symphony. But I had to settle for some Madonna in the car and a sparkler a few days later.

So my super editor Jamie and I have been talking about Twilight the movie. I’ve finally accepted that the actress for Bella is a good pick. But Edward? Both of us are TRYING to withhold judgment. But it ain’t easy. Check out this Entertainment Weekly photo she found. You’ll have to scroll to the middle of the page HERE.

WHAT is with all that makeup? And do vampires wear lipstick? Why is he so pasty white? Why are his eyebrows so caterpillary? Why does he come closer to resembling a zombie more than a vampire? I don’t know ANY vampires that look like that. But I do remember someone else who does… He TOTALLY looks like the albino monk from Princess Bride. I don’t know what Bella’s thinking. If that were my boyfriend, I’d be all like, “You have GOT to go get some Mystic Tan. At the very least, some tinted moisturizer.” And what’s with the shirt hanging open? Is this supposed to be hot? Cause it’s not. Vampires are STRONG, Albino One. There should be some muscle there! What’s under his shirt? More Martha White pasty whiteness.

I should go write a book or field emails from offended albino monks. Have a great Monday!

JEN