So last Thursday night was a big outdoor concert at our Razorback Stadium. We waited outside in the heat for HOURS. I was sitting on the concrete and a woman behind me said, “What are you reading?” She reaches INTO my purse and pulls out my book. This might’ve offended some people, but if you knew what the inside of my purse looked like you’d know that anyone sticking their hand in there is risking pulling back a nub. It’s like sticking your hand inside the mouth of a Pit Bull. DANGEROUS. (Luckily she survived)

So she saw my Stephanie Plum book and we struck up a conversation about it. She, too, thinks it should be made into a movie. But the author refuses to let anyone make movies of her books, which is sad because these books play out like a movie in your head. Even more than seeing them made into movies, I want to BE in the movies. I totally want the part of Lula, the Plus-size, spandex wearing African American reformed hooker. But I’m not plus-sized. I’m so white I’m blinding, and no matter what it says on the bathroom wall at my old high school, I don’t know much about ho’ing.

As mentioned LOTS of cheering goes on at these Wal-Mart concerts. Especially from the international groups there. Here’s a lady from ASDA, the Wal-Mart of the UK (where Queen Elizabeth buys her knee-highs and Depends).

Lots of flags at these things. This girl got tired of carrying hers.

This guy is proud of his heritage.

I probably would’ve picked a less windy day to be showing my pride. We had strange, never-seen-before hurricane winds in AR that night. Hope he had his bloomers on.

Saw Carrie Underwood there. But she’s so little, I thought the winds might pick her up and take her back to Oklahoma. She’s extended her tour, so if you can catch her, I would. Really like her. Even if she does have toned arms and I don’t. Whatever.

Keith Urban is probably one of my favorite concerts. He’s right up there with Chris Tomlin.

Some people you can see once and know you’re done. With Keith Urban, it’s an experience, and you could see him every year (or every day) and still be totally psyched to be at the concert. This guy is passionate about what he does and it shows. He also gave his guitar away. Sadly, not to me.

On Friday it’s not all stars and free donuts. They do have some business to attend to. So in between celeb appearances, Wal-Mart gets down to business. I really enjoyed their meeting actually. I can now sleep better at night knowing they are handling my ONE SHARE with such good care. BUT…when they break out the charts and graphs, I’m gone.

There is nothing that loses my attention faster than charts and graphs. It makes me feel like this person:

But I did come out of my statistic-induced coma for HIM…

He sang his new song (which I honestly don’t like. Rockers do NOT sing about rainbows, okay? Leave that stuff to Clay Aiken.) and another tune. He did a great job. He had to be nervous. I know I would be nervous surrounded by tens of thousands of people who are hyped up on unlimited caffeine, have had three packs of chocolate donuts, two packs of Cheez-its, one thing of M&Ms, a few granola bars that have the calorie content of a Happy Meal, and just sat through charts and graphs. I seriously think he was singing for me, but maybe he was just lusting after the Snickers I had in each hand.

And this FINALLY concludes my week of Shareholder events. Thank you Wal-Mart. Thank you Sam’s Club. Thank you flashing kilt guy.

JEN

5 comments

This is my last post with braces-less teeth. I am very sad. I totally deserve some Ben and Jerry’s right now. I had braces a few years ago (I was looking for a way to make the age of 30 as horrible as possible. I know–braces!) and now we need to fix one single tooth. So. . . here we go again.

I remember when I first got them someone told me, “Oh, you’ll lose like five pounds that first week, your mouth will be so sore.” And I thought, “Silver lining!” But NO….am I the only person on the planet who GAINED five pounds? My mouth was useless for THREE weeks (one big open wound. It was like I had chewed on glass for a few hours), and so every meal I was at the Sonic drive-thru asking for the Jennifer Jones Braces Combo Meal–a shake and a grilled cheese. No chewing involved. So, not only was my mouth one big ulcer, but I couldn’t zip into my jeans. Can’t WAIT for that again!

Back to the shareholder meeting.

So Friday I get up at 4:20 in the AM to meet some friends and go to Bud Walton Arena in Fayetteville, AR for the big show.

My friend Leslie (a true Wal-Mart employee and share holder, unlike me who had an internet receipt for one single share) said there would be chocolate donuts (a fave for both of us. I mean the cheap kind that leaves a film on your mouth). But what I didn’t know was that Wal-Mart gets ALLLLLL this snack food donated and you can have all you want and all the drinks you want!

The people were telling us to get a BOX and fill it! This is the closest I’ve ever been to angels singing in my ear. Free snack food. In mass quantities. People BEGGING us to take it. I thought I was going to have a Cheez-It meltdown in my giddy state. I just wanted to roll in the stuff.

On the way to the arena, you pass by a nice courtyard on the U of A campus.

Isn’t that nice? The George family sponsors that little plot and maintain it. As I was eating my third pack of donuts, this gave me an idea. My yard is the eye-sore of my neighborhood. What if I divvied up MY yard and LET people tend it? You could totally put a big ‘ol stone with your name on and stuff. I’m taking bids now…

To start the meeting, these people fell out of the ceiling. And then they started playing drums while suspended and flying across the arena and stuff. It looked totally easy.

And then this guy started running on this giant hamster wheel with a blind fold. A few times he would almost “fall”, and I’d be like, “Poop.” Am I a sick person for wanting him to fall? I LOVE a good fall!

Queen Latifah hosted. Doesn’t she look all professional. She must have one share too. We’re all business, you know.

Jennifer Hudson was there. She was totally packing heat.

And I don’t mean guns.

When she sang “You’re Gonna Love Me” from Dream Girls, I thought we were gonna have ourselves some church.

Tim McGraw was there.

The Stockholder’s meeting is like one big pep rally. He closed out this raucous event by singing his song about a soldier who’s never going home. A little bit of a downer, Tim. He obviously doesn’t have his one share.

More later (I’m gonna drag this out until it’s Stockholder’s 2009!). I’m off to Bible study, then I will get in tonight, eat ice cream and write some sad haikus about my last night without braces. Actually I will be staying up late and working on book two in the new series, Charmed, I’m Sure. I’m in “Oh, Crap, I have to write a book” mode. Which means I have a lot of book to write and not a lot of time. And that also means I’m reading a lot. Because somehow enriching my mind is an okay thing to do when you should be WRITING YOUR OWN BOOK! I’m currently reading the 11th book in the Stephanie Plum series. Here’s another book I can’t wait to crack. Recently someone said they picked up I Heart Bloomberg by Melody Carlson and couldn’t put it down, staying up ’til 3 am reading it. That’s just what I need. Because heaven forbid I WRITE ’til three a.m. (Or ’til noon…or anytime…)

Anyway, here’s a preview of the book!

Have a great Wednesday,

Soon-to-be-metal-mouth JEN

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
I Heart Bloomberg
David C. Cook (April 1, 2008)
by
Melody Carlson

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Melody Carlson is the best-selling author of more than 100 books for adults, children, and teens, including three of her latest, These Boots Weren’t Made For Walking, A Mile In My Flip-Flops, and Mixed Bags. She and her husband, the parents of two grown sons, make their home near the Cascade Mountains in Central Oregon. Melody is a full-time writer as well as an avid gardener, biker, skier, and hiker.

Favorite Bible verse: John 3:16 - “For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” It’s the “whosoever” part that gets me. That’s who I write for – “whosoever” and to me that means everyone and anyone.

Carlson, author of more than 100 books, begins her 86 Bloomberg Place series with I Heart Bloomberg that functions mostly to set up future storylines. Three women rent rooms at 86Bloomberg Place:

ABOUT THE BOOK

Kendall’s managed to wrangle her grandmother’s house-free and clear-except for the rules. No male roommates. But that’s ok, with the right ad she’ll pull in some girls, their rent and if she’s lucky, she won’t have to go to work any time soon.

For their part, Anna, Lelani, and Megan all have their reasons for wanting to move in: Anna has got to get out from under her overprotective parents; Lelani can’t take another day in her aunt’s tiny crackerbox house overflowing with toddlers and Megan needs a place free of her current roommate from Hades.

Though they come with assorted extra baggage filled with broken hearts and dreams, they will discover they also have a vast array of hidden strengths. And they struggle to become the women they want to be, they’ll find new hope and maybe even Kendall will learn a thing or two about life, love and the true meaning of friendship.

If you would like to read the first chapter, go HERE

4 comments

Thursday night I went to the Wal-Mart Shareholder concert and saw Carrie Underwood and Keith Urban. If you’ve never seen Keith Urban in concert, you are seriously missing out on something in life. The man is a genius, a master musician, a brilliant entertainer, and he has really good hair. I’d post a picture, but currently WordPress (who we KNOW I love) won’t let me.

Friday night I got up at the unholy hour of 4:20 to go to the Shareholder meeting. The only people up at this hour are drug dealers and Wal-Mart stock holders. An even though that was a ridiculous time to get up, I felt it was really important to see what Wal-Mart’s plan for my share was. That’s right, I said share. As in singular. As in dos minus uno equals uno. See, you only have to have ONE share to be considered stockholder and get to go to the meeting. And I want to go to the meeting because I care about Wal-Mart’s plan for the year, their environmental changes, and the specific strategies they will implement to maximize corporate growth. THERE ARE FAMOUS PEOPLE THERE!!!!!!

Okay, so WordPress isn’t letting me insert any pics today–not that I’m bitter. So I will have to tell you about mucho celebritios Wednesday. But let me give you a two word preview: DAVID. COOK. Seriously.

Did you know shakes at Sonic are currently 99 cents? This means I can drink two for basically the price of one! And that’s good because sometimes I feel like I should get a fruit shake because a growing girl needs her fruit servings. But then what I really want is chocolate. So now I don’t have to choose! Thank you, Sonic! You really do have my best interests at heart. My artery clogged heart…

Clay Aiken is going to be a father. Since this is a rated G blog, I have nothing to say to that.

In other news of the weird, did you know in 2011 Brokeback Mountain will reappear–as an opera? I saw it more as a synchronized swimming one act, but whatever.

Tomorrow I have to go back to school. Why, you ask? Because my district knows the BEST way to keep your teachers happy is to make them go to school in the summer. They KNOW how much we miss school, especially not having been out even an entire WEEK YET. Maybe if I’m REALLY, REALLY lucky it will be like a few years ago when I had to go in the summer, and I got yelled out by TWO different people for walking on a waxed floor that WASN’T MARKED ANYWHERE. That was a great day. I sure hope we can have a repeat. I live for waxy-floor-bawl-outs.

Saw Indiana Jones this weekend. I am a big Indy fan. LOVED the first three. I’m probably gonna ruin this for everyone (SPOILER ALERT—COVER YOUR EYES), but had someone just whispered one single word in my ear, I could’ve saved 2+ hours and $8.50. Just one word would’ve said it all……..Aliens. S’all I’m gonna say. But Steven Spielberg must’ve had QUITE the heavy hand in this one. I wasn’t sure if it was Indiana Jones No. 4 or E.T. Part 2.

Have a great week. I get to go to school 3x, get my top braces BACK on, have 3 doctor’s appointments and attend two weddings. And somewhere in the middle of all that I’m supposed to write a book. : )

Jen

7 comments

So every year there is a week long ta-do in NWA leading up to the Wal-Mart shareholder’s meeting. And this usually includes three nights of concerts. Last year we saw the Eagles, Hall and Oates, and some African Americans pretending to be Kool And the Gang.

Tuesday night it was Lifehouse and Taylor Swift. It was a lot of fun. The Lifehouse lead singer can totally wail–and I mean that in a good way. He sings with his eyes shut, so it was hard to snap a picture of him with his peepers visible.

Nope. Not quite.

Not here either.

SCORE!!!

But I couldn’t stop staring at his guitar player’s hair. It looked so familiar.

Leif Garrett? A 1970s Rod Stewart? My cousin Tina?

Taylor Swift was very peppy. The tweens there were going nuts. I think I have hearing damage from the three girls beside me. Taylor’s band was interesting too. In case you’ve wondered where Captain Jack Sparrow’s been hiding out, it’s in her band.

“Arrr, shiver me timbers. Nothing a boy loves more than a skinny girl beside him, guitar playing, and extra heavy eyeliner.”

And I couldn’t stop staring at THIS guitar player either.

This picture does NOT do his hair justice. I couldn’t ever get it all in one frame. I needed a panoramic option or something. Anyway, it was a miracle of gravity and hair gel, and I was mesmerized.

I have a concert Thursday night and more famous people to see Friday, so stay tuned.

Finally, summer is when I get in some reading. With the book writing, not as much reading as I’d like. But here are some things I’ve read lately.

I STINK at reading nonfiction. I have a whole stack of them that have enough dust to plug up your sinuses for life. But I LOVED this book. Took a bit to get into, but really had some practical advice and ended up being a page turner for the most part.

I tried to read this. Got over half way through. Anything princessey always gets my attention. This is from the author of Dairy Queen, which got amazing reviews. I will probably try to finish it…eventually.

I’ve read about half of this runaway best seller too. They are currently talking FILM right now, so it’s gonna be interesting. It’s an interesting read on a lot of different levels. Lots of debate going on about the theology of it, which I am totally staying out of.

I am on book nine of the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich (who I notice has a little nip and tuck done by the time you see her author photo on book ten. Go, Janet!).

I will soon be reading From a Distance by Tamera Alexander. I LOVE historical romance of the secular variety. But I have yet to find anything on the Christian shelves that has the same sizzle and interesting plot. But word on the street (Just pick one–um, Main Street?) is that Tamera is top notch in Christian historical fiction. I haven’t got to crack it open yet, but looking forward to it. I’ve included a preview chapter and some info below so we can all ooh and ahh over it.

Until my next Weird Guitar Player Report,

Jen

This week, the

Christian Fiction Blog Allianceis introducing

From A Distance(Bethany House June 1, 2008)byTamera Alexander

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Tamera Alexander is a bestselling novelist whose deeply drawn characters, thought-provoking plots and poignant prose resonate with readers. Tamera is a finalist for the 2008 Christy Award Remembered, and has been awarded the coveted RITA® from Romance Writers of America Revealed, along with Library Journal’s Top Christian Fiction of 2006 Rekindled. Having lived in Colorado for seventeen years, she and her husband now make their home in the quaint town of historic Franklin, Tennessee, where they enjoy life with their two college-age children and a precious—and precocious—silky terrier named Jack.

A Note from Tamera:

Stories are journeys, and each story I write is a journey for me.

Rekindled began with a dream—the image of a man returning home on horseback. He came upon a freshly dug grave and when he knelt to read the name carved into the roughhewn wooden cross, he discovered the name was…his own. The inspiration for Revealed grew from two characters in Rekindled whose stories needed to be told. But even more, whose stories I needed to tell. Writing Revealed was a very personal journey for me, and a healing one. For Remembered, I met that story’s heroine (figuratively, of course) while strolling the ancient cobblestoned pathways of a three hundred-year-old cemetery in northern Paris, France. And From A Distance came from a question I was struggling with in my own life at the time, “What happens when the dream you asked God for isn’t what you thought it would be?”

For me, the greatest thrill of these writing journeys is when Christ reveals Himself in some new way, and I take a step closer to Him. And my deepest desire is that readers of my books will do that as well—take steps closer to Him as they read. After all, it’s all about Him.

In the Potter’s Hand,

Tamera

ABOUT THE BOOK

What happens when dreams aren’t what you imagined,

And secrets you’ve spent a lifetime guarding are finally laid bare?

Determined to become one of the country’s premier newspaper photographers, Elizabeth Westbrook travels to the Colorado Territory to capture the grandeur of the mountains surrounding the remote town of Timber Ridge. She hopes, too, that the cool, dry air of Colorado, and its renowned hot springs, will cure the mysterious illness that threatens her career, and her life.

Daniel Ranslett, a former Confederate sharpshooter, is a man shackled by his past, and he’ll do anything to protect his land and his solitude. When an outspoken Yankee photographer captures an image that appears key to solving a murder, putting herself in danger, Daniel is called upon to repay a debt. He’s a man of his word, but repaying that debt will bring secrets from his past to light.

Forced on a perilous journey together, Daniel and Elizabeth’s lives intertwine in ways neither could have imagined when first they met . . . from a distance.

If you would like to read the first chapter, go HERE

“…a rich historical romance by possibly the best new writer in this subgenre.”
–Library Journal

“…a most amazing story. The characters are more than words on the page; they become real people.”
–Romantic Times

6 comments

I’m a horrible blogger lately. It’s like painting my kitchen the wrong color over Memorial weekend sent me into a deep depression, and the only cure was to repaint it and no blogging.

Long painting story, as it typically goes with all of my painting endeavors. I don’t really want to talk about it. It’s much too painful. But I will share a few details.

Okay, so color no. one was wrong. Actually it was right, but if I kept it the kitchen cabinets had to go, so I knew I had to suck it up and repaint. So I’ve had this paint chip from Shogun’s restaurant bathroom for like 2 years. I lose everything. I’ve NEVER lost this. It was important. So Sunday I go to Lowe’s and hand over my paint sample. . . it wasn’t enough.

“Is there any way you can get us more?”

“Um, I ripped this from a damaged wall in a restaurant and they fixed it.” I consider how badly I want this color. “I guess not.” Crap! Me and my morals!

So I break down and call the restaurant. A teen boy answers. “Um…what color is our bathroom? That’s a weird question. Um…it’s maroon.”

“Well, Teen Boy, maroon isn’t going to cut it. I need a specific color or code.”

“Yeah, it’s maroon.”

So I ask to speak to the manager. He calls me back an hour later, speaking with broken English. “You want our bathroom in you house?”

“Uh…yes? Do you know the color?”

“Iced tea.”

“The color is called iced tea?”

“No, I don’t know color name. But it look like iced tea. PASTEL iced tea.”

At this point instead of explaining to him that there is NO SUCH THING as freakin’ PASTEL iced tea, I tell him about how paint works and what info I need.

He tries again. “If you go Lowe’s they have many colors. You pick one.”

“That’s how I got into this mess!” Okay, I didn’t say that, but it’s a good thing he couldn’t see my big eye roll.

So I went and tried to match the paint myself and chose two colors to get samples of. Here we have the recently painted color and the two “not quite” c colors I picked.

I went with Raspberry Truffle, which sounds really nice.

So I finished painting round II last night. I have a lot of touch-ups though. But I’m a good painter. I’m just not a neat painter. Like last night I had somehow run into every wall I’d painted, head butted one portion, and left a few hand prints here and there. I had paint from hair to foot. It was not pretty. If I’m gonna be covered in “raspberry truffle,” I don’t want it to be the paint version. My house looks like WWIII hit. And in case I have any doubts of what color I chose, I have many reminders.

On the fridge.

On the floor.

On the sink.

Oh, well. Nobody’s perfect.

See you later this week. I have CELEBRITY sightings to report. There are tons of them in AR right now for the yearly Wal-Mart shareholders meeting. Get ready to be jealous. ; )

Off to scrub some more paint out of my hair.

Jen

6 comments