I hope everyone had a good Mother’s Day weekend. I know I did! We had a big family dinner at my aunt’s. My cousin’s daughter gave all of us ladies little gifts for the event, even though I’m not a mom. But you know what, I’m a cat owner. And we should totally have our own holiday. Is my job not valuable too? I suggest National Cat Owner Day because:

1. I have to clean a litter box. At least once a month. It can be stressful.

2. My cat will NOT tolerate a food bowl that is not filled to the brim. You don’t know pressure until you’ve seen “the look” as he stares over his bowl. Then back at you. Then to the food.

3. My cat will sleep lengthwise in the bed, and I will be barely hanging on to the edge. And instead of booting him out, I just let him hog the space. Moms aren’t the only ones who understand sacrifice.

4. My hearing has been compromised due to the yearly screeching that ensues when we go to the vet. Or Kitty Hades.

5. Shedding. Enough said.

So today Miller (the cat) got to go outside for the first time in his six years. I have felt so bad about him now being an only cat, that I wanted to make his life better somehow. (In some way that doesn’t involve a new puppy or kitty or anything else that we all know by now will be diseased or demented in some way and have to be put down and I will spiral into a deep depression and hate the world. again. for the fifth or sixth time.)

I was sitting on my back porch this afternoon when the idea struck. I went and grabbed the cat (big mistake. these things need to be their idea) and then I barricaded the entry to the deck steps so Miller couldn’t get down. It was an intricate, well designed setup. Okay, it was some boxes of books, a few of my jackets, and one over-stuffed laundry basket.

I put Miller on the deck, so proud of this moment for him. I could hear Chariots of Fire playing somewhere.

And then he freaks out. He starts jumping on the door, desperate to get back in.

AUGH!!! WHAT IS THIS??? It’s like another planet out here! Make it go away! MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!

And then Miller proceeds to try and throw himself off the deck before I staged an intervention and took him inside. So um, we’ll have to try that in smaller doses, I think.

Also this weekend I saw Iron Man. GO SEE IT! I don’t want to say it’s amazing because when people say that, then it’s ALWAYS a letdown. But it was pretty good. There were a few things in there that you’re like, “Oh, come on! That could NOT happen–even in super hero world.” But it’s still really good. And I ask forgiveness for ever doubting Robert Downey, Jr. as a super hero. I have always liked him, but he’s more of a brooding, intellectual sort. And that ends up being why he’s perfect for this part. Well, that and he bulked up with 20 lbs of muscle. (Seriously, People mag said 20 lbs. I’d love to have some biceps, but if I gained 20 lbs of muscle, I’d probably start crying. And topple over.)

IF you go see the movie (and those of you over 13 are, right?), you have to stay until after the credits. And there are a million credits. I think if you ever knew a single actor in the film, your name is listed. John Pierce, toilet paper restocker for Mr. Downey’s trailor… Cecilia Thomas, person who puts napkins out at donut table… Phillip Hoff, some guy who walked by the set and waved…

Have a good week. I am going to go watch TV write my next book.

Jen