It’s that time of year again. Time to make resolutions.
Here are some of mine. I personally think it’s important to pick resolutions you can actually accomplish so you don’t spend the rest of the year hating yourself because you didn’t learn Italian or climb Mt. Fuji.

I resolve to:
1. Pack lighter on my next trip. I don’t know what possesses me to think I need to bring every pair of shoes I own and my entire personal library, but it tends to weigh things down. It might not be too bad to wheel it to the curb at the airport, but it takes me 15 minutes just to load it in the car. And it usually involves words my neighbors don’t need to hear.

2. Go to bed earlier more often. This is hard in the winter because as we all know by now I stay up to watch four different news channels to catch the weather. I wish I could be like Martha Stewart and survive on four hours of sleep then pop out of bed with this burning desire to make a torte, but I’m not.

3. Take my multi-vitamins. Why is it so hard? And why must they make them the size of a small tomato? Remember baby aspirin? Now those were fun to take. Not only were they all tiny and dissolvey, but they tasted like oranges! Yum!

4. Check my email less. I think I have a disease. When I’m writing, I tell myself I check it every hour. It ends up being every 15 minutes. It just gets in the way and distracts me from what I really need to be –

5. Read People magazine more. This will be easy because I got a super cool subscription for Christmas! Now I will be so on top of the important things in this world like what’s new with the Jolie-Pitts, what Suri Cruise is wearing, and which football star Jessica Simpson is taking home to meet grandma. Let’s face it, the Middle East will always be full of turmoil. That’s a constant, so why get updates? But reading about Hollywood? Now there’s some time well spent. Unless you plan on going on Jeopardy. Then you’ll wish you had gotten a Newsweek subscription for Christmas. (You will, but I still won’t.)

6. Watch more TV. This past year television and I pretty much parted ways. My old shows were off (Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls), Grey’s stunk, and I just didn’t have time to invest in anything new. But I need to reconnect with my long lost friend. I will start by dedicating some time every week when American Idol comes back on. During that time, I resolve that all work will cease, and I will give Simon, Randy, Paula, and Seacrest my all. And I want to check into that show Pushing Daisies. It’s about a guy who touches people and they come back to life. So he brings his dead girlfriend back to life, but if he touches her again then she’ll keel over for the final time. My ninth graders told me when the characters kiss they hold a piece of Saran Wrap between them. I told my students they should try that. So far no one has taken my challenge. It would sure cut down on the flu outbreaks at school though.

Have a great New Year. Hope we all have a fabulous 2008. I’d love to hear your resolutions. And I guess if you don’t have any of your own, you could copy mine. They are pretty great. And fairly low maintenance. In fact, I feel like a winner already!

Did everyone have a good Christmas? I sure did! I’ve had a really great week off from all things writing. Except gift tags. Had to write those. In bulk.

Here is a breakdown of my Christmas break so far (or Winter break as my PC school likes to call it).

Thursday night before C’mas was the yearly ornament party at my friend Holly’s. It was a great turn out. And by that I mean the food brought was excellent. So you bring an ornament and play “dirty santa.” And in this game the ornament you pick when it’s your turn can get taken away. It’s taken a few years for a lot of the ladies to suck it up and take things away. But a few of us believe the more vicious, the more fun! It’s the Christmas spirit! These three Jones ladies are not afraid to rip an ornament out of someone’s hand. (My aunt, not pictured, even took an ornament away from a two year old.)

“The lady in the jingle bell sweater looks weak. I’ll steal from her.”
“Good strategy. I’ll go for the woman with the walker.”
“And steal her cookies, too. These are awesome.”

And then I shop like a maniac over the weekend. And then I reshop. You know, in those final hours you begin to doubt every item you’ve purchased since November and you basically go back and start all over again and pray you’ve still got your receipts so you can take the first batch back.

Then you wake up and the weekend is gone and it’s Christmas Eve. And on Christmas Eve I go to my dad’s home and celebrate, then go back to my house, drag everything out into the living room (including snacks, of course), turn on Turner Classic Movies, wrap until about midnight, then leave for my mother’s house. And when the wake-up call comes Christmas morning I’m usually a wee bit fatigued. And crabby. . .

And when I’m in wrap mode, which lasts for hours, Psycho Kitty likes to get involved. I had all these presents neatly wrapped, tagged, and bowed. Then Psycho Kitty pounced on the scene.

“Did you want this box? Too bad.”

Here he is an hour later. Still in the box.

Notice the array of items. The TV is on TCM. Cover Girl is playing, a Rita Hayworth and Gene Kelly movie I hadn’t seen before. It’s so good. Rita plays a girl who works for this small theater in New York, owned and operated by Mr. Kelly. Then she gets discovered and becomes a cover girl model for magazines. And of course, Broadway comes calling and she gets a marriage proposal from a rich man, but then there’s still humble, slightly poor Gene Kelly. It was like watching my life on screen! So similar.

There’s also a weighted exercise ball in the floor there. In case I need to work my triceps. Or bean a cat. There’s the remote because sometimes the dance numbers on TCM get a little lengthy, and I need to do some channel flipping and see what Ralphie’s status is on the 24 hour marathon of A Christmas Story.

But it’s hard to wrap when Psycho Kitty decides to wage war on each and every box. At some point in the evening the little kitty voices in his head tell him that the bows are out to get him. So he attacks them. Every single one.

“What’s that, Bow? Are you talking smack to me?”

“What’s that, kitty voice in my head? The only way to save the world is to eat every bow in the room? I am so on it.”

“And then I must stick all two hundred of them under the couch where they won’t be found until sometime next year? Genius!”

So Psycho Kitty dismantled the bows in like five seconds, hopping from one present to the next, a big wad of bow in his teeth. And then he moved onto tags…

If you just haven’t seen enough Christmas yet (or if this hasn’t made it to your inbox, which I’m sure it probably has at least twice), this is a great send off. Stick with it–it gets better.

And if your brain is mush from too much shopping, wrapping, and egg nogging, HERE’s something to whip it back into shape. It’s a little addicting. And supposedly it’s for a good cause…one grain of rice at a time.

Have a good weekend. Not too many hours left of 2007!

Welcome! Welcome!
I konw you’re super excited–the enthusiasm is palpable. (Or maybe I’m just feeling the after effects of all that bean dip from last night.)
Drumroll please… (D.R. Hint: I find the rolling of the tongue more effective than the pounding of hands on a hard surface, but my friend Leslie prefers the method of. . . nevermind.)

…It’s the Jen’s Favorite Things Show 2007!
Just like Oprah’s!
Except you’re not really here. . . because that would be awkward.(I’m still in my pj’s and I have some deep conditioner fermenting in my hair at the moment.)
And I’m not giving things from my list away. (Though if you’re interested in a few cats, one vacuum cleaner that doesn’t work but I’ve kept for two years anyway, or a collection of used Post-Its, let me know!)
And another difference is these things aren’t new. Or expensive to the point only Warren Buffet or a Hilton could purchase them.

But I shall share with you some of my favorite things I’ve purchased in two thousand and seven, the year of our Lord.

1. Pens. I’ve always had a favorite pen. Even when I was broke and in college, I would splurge on some favorite writing utensils (splurge = spend an extra buck). Never could stand the stick pens. Here’s the pen I’ve been using for a few years:

The Pilot Precise V5, extra fine. These pens make me happy because you can get them in pink, purple, turquoise, and green. And who wouldn’t feel better receiving an F from their teacher when it’s happily written in hot pink?

2. Running Shoes.

You cannot just run in any old tennie, you know. (Or walk. Or stroll. Or sprint away from unruly flocks of hungry geese, depending on which trail around here you pick. Seriously, YIKES. A friend and I saw a gaggle swoop in on a baby a few weeks ago. They were totally going to EAT her!) Anyway, I have strayed a few times, but my good old Asics (I prefer Gel Keyano) always take me back. Though I wander to cooler, hipper shoes, my Keyanos are always there with open arms, forgiving me for my roving eye.

3. This coat.

My L.L. Bean down jacket. Now I have never had an opinion about a coat one way or the other. Don’t really like to wear them; don’t get excited about them. Well, if I was stuck in a blizzard in a stalled car with no food or water, I’d care. But this is Arkansas, and as you know by now, we barely get flakes, let alone a miraculous blizzard. But in bitterness I digress. . . So this is my favorite coat. It is like wearing a blanket–except you won’t trip on it and bust your nose on the coffee table. And weighs less than a pound. Because if you’re like me, you don’t want any extra poundage. And like my favorite pens, they come in fun, bright colors. I have the pink and this makes me easy to find in a busy mall. Because I tend to get lost. A lot.

4. Force Flex Trash bags.

If I’ve never had a strong opinion about a coat, I felt even less passionate about trash bags. A trash bag is a trash bag. . . or is it? When I saw the commercial of the woman grabbing hers to save herself from a meteor shower and imminent death, I thought, I must have those. Because death by cosmic rocks is something we tend to avoid thinking about, but in 2007 I decided to get proactive and not live in denial any longer. Meteor showers happen, people. And I for one, want to be ready. Of course I hear snow happens, too, but I’ve yet to see that either.

5. Books.
I have mentioned this before, but the world renowned agent Chip MacGregor sent me this book and I loved it.

Nonfiction really isn’t even my bag. But this book is laugh out loud funny. I have been telling everyone I know about it. It seriously makes a good gift. People will think you have cutting edge taste in literature. And it’s also a great warning to parents. Because sometimes a child is born who will grow up to remember every single minute of her life. And then she will write about these moments in a book. I personally don’t remember the majority of my life (my brother and I both have faulty wiring in our memories), but one thing I do remember is that I only have one photo album of me as a baby. My brother has like 50 million (yes, he’s older). And not only that, but in my one album, seventy-five percent of the pictures include my brother. And there’s a recipe for a pot roast just stuck in there. “Where’s my pot roast recipe? Oh, yeah, in my kid’s photo album. What a handy thing that is…”

And I really liked this book this year.

You read a devo every day and it gives you something to pray about or focus/work on for that day. Like one day trying to remove all negative thoughts from your mind and turning them into positive. Example…

Original Thought: If it doesn’t snow I am going to end up hurting someone.

Revised Thought: If it doesn’t snow I am going to lay hands on someone and pray over them in Christian kindness. And my hands will be on the throat area. Squeezing love into his/her throat. Until they see stars. Like the kind of stars our good Lord made.

That’s all for my wrap-up of 2007. If you discovered any must-have products, please let me know. I am easily swayed by testimonials and will no doubt immediately rush out and get two.

Have a Merry Christmas!!! I will be taking a few days off to wrap myself up in the joy of the season. (Okay, I am so behind on my deadline, and I’m going to be furiously cranking out some pages. Which will probably end up in my Glad Force-Flex trash bags. While I run into the highway in my Asics Keyanos. And brain myself with a copy of Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind.

Hey, check out TitleTrakk.com for a peek into some author’s favorite Christmas memories. I especially enjoyed Justin Lookadoo’s response.
Merry Christmas. God bless us one and all.

Or maybe I have a compulsion.
I seem to have a teeny, tiny obsession with buying–and taking back–digital cameras. I can’t help it! As soon as you buy one, an ad comes out within a few weeks for something bigger (actually smaller) and better.

But it’s getting harder and harder to return them. Monday I went to two Wal-Mart stores, spoke with five different people, all because I was wanting to return a camera and was over their 30 day return policy by seven measly days (6.5 if you want to get specific and count by hours). There are so many restrictions, and they want to see every piece of documentation in your purse.
“Um. . . we’ll need an unstamped passport, your birth certificate, two boxes of
Twinkies, your kindergarten picture, and the hair of a toad.” The hair of a
toad? Crap, I gave out my last one at Target.

But I finally stopped at the right Wal-Mart, and after breaking out my best “Show Me Your Christmas Spirit” face, they relented and gave me a refund.

My new camera arrives Friday. I call it Camera No. 207.

So I have like two and a half hours of school left before vay-kay. I am super excited. Sure, I’ll be working the whole break on a little book, but at least I won’t be teaching and writing. Okay, teaching and emailing, but whatever.

Or I might spend my doing doing THIS.

Here’s our first snow! Can you see all the flakes?
OF COURSE YOU CAN’T!!!!
I think the weathermen out there are all conspiring against me. They toy with my feelings. So our 4-6 inches, which later got moved to 2-4 inches, ended up being a teeny, tiny dusting. Just enough to look pretty coming down…then melt immediately on impact. It was heart-wrenching. Maybe it didn’t stick because I kept watching it. You know how temperamental snow can be. What if I ruined the snow day for everyone? I can’t handle that kind of responsibility.

So tonight I am working with some fellow churchies on some Angel Tree stuff and I get a call. It’s from a local church–the one that asked me to speak at their Christmas banquet Tuesday. Except it wasn’t Tuesday. My pastor’s wife tells me that I was to be there TONIGHT. I was FLIPPING out. I apologized like one hundred million times. And I said a bunch of stuff I can’t even remember–just started babbling. I think I might’ve promised her my first born in penance. Or maybe it was my least favorite cat… And then I come home and head straight for the fridge. I am a stress eater. Anyone else? And I am normally a stress drinker (of Diet Dr. Pepper, of course), but we know how that’s going right now, and even though I wanted to drown my sorrows in the awesome, acidy burn of DDP, I had to RESIST! Because aspartame is NOT my friend! Though I sure missed him tonight. So instead I made do with what I had–a bowl of leftover soup and two servings of Raisin Bran. It did not have nearly the same effect as some DDP, but at least I got to keep all my brain cells.

And then hours later, after I’ve cursed myself a million times, the pastor calls and turns out he DID tell me the banquet was on Tuesday! Can you say HUGE relief?
I just flat out told him, “I am REALLY glad it’s your fault!”

I mix stuff up ALL the time, but usually not big deal things because I triple, quadruple check, KNOWING I screw things up so often. I’m the type of person who can be so distracted I’ll climb in the bathtub with my socks on. Or stick toilet paper in the fridge instead of the milk. And this kind of craziness seems to be happening more frequently in the last 12 months or so. So this event not only made me feel bad, but it also had me wondering if I had suffered brain trauma at some point in the last year and maybe didn’t know it? Like was I in an accident and I’m stupid, but I don’t remember it, and since I don’t remember it, everyone has been instructed by my mother to play along and not bring it up–you know the fact that I’m now mentally incapacitated and there was that blunt head trauma. But NO! It wasn’t my fault this time! Unless my mother called the pastor and reminded him that he needed to play along, too… And if that’s what happened, guys, I am TOTALLY on to you.

Speaking of crazy, how about this wave pool in Tokyo? Can you say PERSONAL SPACE INVASION? I would love to know their drowning statistics.

Have a good week! I begin my Christmas vay-kay Wednesday–woo-hoo!!!!