I’m in the process of revamping (totally demolishing and rebuilding) my website. And when I say “I,” I mean somebody else-someone who knows what they’re doing (which counts me out). During a meeting with the web designer, he jokingly mentioned having a tab on my site for recipes. But you know what? There are a handful of authors who do have recipes on their site.

I don’t want to deprive anyone of the bounty of my kitchen genius, so today I’m going to share with you a recipe. In fact, it’s what I had for supper tonight.

Jen’s Dinner
Prep Time: one minute
Serves: One to Ten

1. Go to Wal-Mart. Drive cart straight to cereal aisle. If they are redoing your Wal-Mart, like they are mine, then go to mop aisle. Strangely enough, cereal will be there. So will Depends, aluminum foil, and Chap Stick.

2. Grab family size box of Honey Comb. Pause at Depends and consider how much time you could save in a day if you didn’t have to stop and use a toilet. Say hello to student who sees you eyeing the Depends, and just move on, mumbling, “Grandma…weak bladder…”

3. Grab milk. Forget to check date because you like to live dangerously.

4. Go home. Pour cereal into bowl. Douse with the dairy and serve with a spoon.

5. When bowl is empty, Repeat step 4.

Next week I will be posting instructions for one of my favorite meals entitled, “How to eat Fajitas at the local Mexican joint for $3.87.” If you want real recipes, maybe try BettyCrocker.com?

So today I had pictures taken–pictures for the new future website. Can I just tell you I would rather nail my tongue onto I-540 and let semis roll by than have my picture taken? And it was very last minute, so Friday night I got in a little shopping. (I had NOTHING to wear–and wearing NOTHING just would NOT work for pictures for a website dedicated to writing Christian fiction.) Then this morning I was at Kohls department store at 7:00. For some crazy reason they were open.(Actually they didn’t open until 7:05 because I was waiting.)

So I made a mad dash through the store, hurrying because I had to race back home to shower and primp and stress and stuff. I just started grabbing clothes to try on. I had like 40 outfits. Two different store employees started following me. They acted like they were doing inventory, but they were totally tailing me. I don’t know why. Just because I had a mountain of clothes in my hand, and I kept having to rip blouses off the mannequins (sorry, headless ladies). And it didn’t help that my purse is the size of a carry-on. They probably thought I was going to stuff it with mannequin clothes. And then there was the moment when I set the alarm off by stepping out of bounds with a shirt. (it was right by the door! Don’t put shirts by the door, and the alarm won’t go off.) So anyway, I felt a great deal of satisfaction when I left, clearly paying for my items, not setting off the alarm again, and the good people of Kohls didn’t have to go on lock down. Because two of them were definitely prepared.

So not that I ate it, but tonight I actually did cook. I tried a new minestrone recipe. It’s not so great. Why is it when you cook something gross it’s usually in quantities that could feed a small state? Next week I will also be posting the recipe entitled “Gross Soup for When You Have a Party for 100 People You Don’t Like.”

I think I’ll go have another bowl of Honey Comb.

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First of all, don’t forget to leave a comment on Monday’s entry to get your name in the running for Camy Tang’s Sushi For One? You do not want to miss it.

So last week I went to Dallas for a writer’s conference–the annual American Christian Fiction Writers conference. I went to this event two years ago, armed with a whopping 25 pages of a novel. A favorite author of mine critiqued it, contacted a publisher about it, and the rest is In Between history. So I’m kind of partial to ACFW (and that author). If you have ANY interest in writing, check it out. Next year our meeting is in Minneapolis. That might be the year that I have to skip some of the sessions and do some intense research for the next book. Research on shopping–bring on Mall of America!!

A highlight of my trip was meeting my totally fabulous agent, Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary. How do you know if you have the coolest agent in the world? If he’s willing to show some knee, that’s how.

I should’ve Photoshopped myself a tan, but oh, well.

So here are some random events and occurrences from my trip.
1. Bought a cute new “trapeze-style” jacket for the event. Wore it for the first time, only to discover it smelled like that nasty raw silk (even though it was wool. weird). I ran back to the room and hosed myself down with Febreeze (that’s something everyone should try at least once). Worked for about 15 minutes. Every time I’d meet someone that day, I’d just want to blurt, “Hi, my name is Jennifer, and yes, it’s MY jacket you smell.”

2. Took a class in which you had to deconstruct your work, looking for six or seven various things, identifying each with a different color of marker. Can I just say this was an A.D.D. NIGHTMARE!!!! I got so lost, I ended up just coloring a pretty picture instead.

3. When I met Chip for the first time, we might’ve discussed some revolutionary new career directions, there might’ve been some movie offers, some million dollar deals bandied about. I don’t remember. News of this great moment, which he told me about, is all I remember. Watch the first minute.

I think I once dated the guy on the right.

4. You know those annoying people who look toward the door every time it opens during a meeting? I discovered I’m one of them. Shamelessly. When that door creaks, I MUST know what the person coming in looks like. It’s like a game.

5. When I get in an airport, it’s like I think we’re in this parallel universe where calories mean nothing. Like within this capsule of a building, you can eat anything you want while catching up on the latest with Brit and Linds. By 11 a.m. Sunday morning I’d had half a Starbucks sandwich, a Taco Bell Bean Burrito, Auntie Anne’s cinnamon sticks, a fruit and yogurt parfait, Diet Pepsi, and two waters. It’s like I was in a race to consume my week’s worth of calories in the hour before I went home. But the Starbucks sandwich doesn’t count because it was gross. They should totally stick to coffee.

6. Ate at a restaurant called the Time Machine. For some random reason (at least I couldn’t figure out why), the wait staff all dresses up like characters. Our waiter was a pirate.

Sadly, I can’t remember his pirate name. And he didn’t talk pirate talk, but spoke in a fake British accent. I felt a little cheated out of some good pirate talk, you know? Had the manager stopped by, I totally would’ve discussed the low level of authenticity in our waiter. His disregard for the sacred pirate vernacular should not be tolerated. Just one booty reference…is that really too much to ask?

Anyway, I will see your booties back here in a few days!

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Today I’d like to welcome a special author and friend to the blog, Ms. Camy Tang. (And the crowd goes wild)

Camy’s first book, Sushi For One? hit the shelves this past September. I was lucky enough to get a preview and snag an interview. You can be lucky, too, and WIN a copy yourself. Just leave a comment on this blog to be entered.

Jen: What is Sushi for One? about?

Camy: Here’s the blurb:

Will Lex Sakai be able to surrender her “perfect man” list and give Mr. All Wrong a chance?

Lex Sakai’s family is big, nosy, and marriage-minded. When her older cousin gets married, Lex will become the oldest single cousin in the clan. And that makes her a moving target for Grandma Sakai, who insists that Lex bring a date to her cousin’s wedding.

Of course, Grandma Sakai has some perfect candidates for Lex. Too bad they don’t speak English! And Lex herself has used her Bible study class on Ephesians to compile a huge list of traits for the perfect man. But the one man she keeps running into doesn’t seem to have a single quality on her list. Aiden Young is not her type. He’s not a jock, he’s not a Christian, and he has a bad history with Lex’s cousin, Trish. It’s only when the always-in-control Lex starts to let God take over that all the pieces of this hilarious romance finally fall into place.

Jen: What’s your favorite scene or moment in the book?

THE KISS!!!! Of course. Can you tell I’m a romance reader?

Jen: Hey, we have that in common! No, er, wait. I meant to say, we are so not alike. I only read inspirational non-fiction and books written before 1850.

Anyway, tell us how you got the idea for the book. I love this story!

Camy: Originally, Sushi for One was Non-Ethnic Food for Single Girl. I read a lot of romances, and most of them didn’t have an ethnically diverse cast, so when I started writing, I wrote ethnically-neutral characters.

(And by the way, that first book I wrote, called The Corinthian Rules, was REALLY BAD.)

Then at an ACFW conference, author Brandilyn Collins prayed over me and three friends. I told her to pray whatever she felt led, and she said, “Write your heritage.”

Talk about freaky, huh? I had been wondering about writing Asian characters, but I certainly hadn’t told Brandilyn that.

So I rewrote The Corinthian Rules to open at a Chinese wedding banquet, with an Asian heroine beset by nagging relatives (see a common theme in my stories?). The Corinthian Rules was complete dreck, but I wrote four other manuscripts with Asian characters. The fifth manuscript was Sushi for One, and that was picked up by Zondervan.

Jen: What advice do you have out there for both aspiring adult and teen writers?

Camy: Learn your writing craft. Someone who wanted to be a concert pianist wouldn’t sit down at a piano for the first time and expect to play a Mozart concerto. They’d start with Chopsticks (and there’s nothing wrong with Chopsticks, BTW).

It’s the same for writers. They need to spend time and some money on perfecting their craft—reading books and magazines and online articles, attending conferences, listening to workshops on MP3 or taking online workshops.

And one more thing—write something else. Your first manuscript will always hold a special place in your heart, but once it’s been rejected by a few editors (even if it’s finaled in a few contests), move on and write another story.

And not a sequel to your first book—a completely different storyline and characters.

That way, editors and agents know you’re not just a one-book wonder, that you can complete several manuscripts, can think up several different storylines.

Jen: Okay, let’s get to the really important stuff. What’s your most embarrassing high school or junior high memory?

Camy: I was at a late night study group and we were getting slap happy. I laughed so hard I farted. Really loudly. I was so embarrassed I couldn’t say a word.

I can’t believe I actually confessed that. Confession is good for the soul, right?

Jen: I am deeply offended and want you to leave my blog immediately. I’m totally calling your publisher.

No, actually you are SO one of us here at this blog. Tell us about a favorite picture you have.

Camy: This is my husband, Captain Caffeine (although in this picture he doesn’t have that maniacal “I need java now!” look that he often has), hanging onto our dog, Snickers, because otherwise she’d bolt toward the camera. She’s into jumping at any new and interesting object and thinking it’s a new chew toy for her.

Jen: You’re stranded on a desert island and can only have one CD with you. What is it and why?

Camy: Pirates of the Caribbean, so I can dream of Johnny Depp sailing around the reef to come rescue me.

Jen: Any guy who can keep eyeliner on out at sea has to be pretty resourceful. Tell us your idea of the funniest movie?
C: Love, Actually

Jen: Saddest movie?
I hate sad movies and will only watch a few because practically anything remotely sad will make me bawl.

Jen: OH, my gosh. Were we separated at birth? I REFUSE to read or watch anything sad. I still have scars from being forced to watch Bambi, Where the Red Fern Grows, Old Yeller, and Beaches. So what’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen?

Camy: Worst movie? Do I have to pick? I can’t even remember them because they were that bad. Plus I’ll usually walk out of a theater or stop the DVD if it’s bad, because life is just too short to waste on bad cinema.

Jen: Again, me too! Especially with books–if I’m not hooked quickly, I drop the book and get a new one. How about…if you were a super hero, what power would you have?

Camy:
The ability to turn someone into a toad. Everyone would be really nice to me.

Jen: Good to know. Camy, thanks so much for stopping by with your fart stories and book discussion. I finally want to mention that Camy has a great blog. Anything exciting going on over there?

Camy: I have a huge website contest going on right now where I’m giving away baskets of Christian novels and an iPod Nano! You have to belong to my newsletter YahooGroup in order to enter, so join today:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Camys_Loft/join
Thanks for having me here, Jenny!

Jen, here. Be sure and check out a preview of Sushi for One? at Camy’s website by clicking here.

Also don’t forget to leave a comment on this blog to get your name in the hat for a free copy of the fabulous Sushi For One?

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I’m in the Big D for a writing conference. It’s been a lot of fun, I’ve met a lot of great people, but I’m ready to go home. I know my cats need me. Their little kitty hearts cry to me from Arkansas.

Actually I know they haven’t even noticed I’m gone. I know I’ll walk through the front door, and it will be a look that says, “You couldn’t have gone ahead and finished out the whole month of September away?”

So I hate to pack. HATE IT. I always put it off until the last possible minute and then try to think if I have friends who love me enough that I could call them and say, “Would you pack for me?” I mentally scan the faces of friends and family…and no one comes to mind. Nobody ever loves me enough to come over and toss my undies into a suitcase.

But even though I detest packing and would rather eat a loaf of soggy bread or suffer a week of wedgies, at the same time, I am quite accomplished at it. And I realized something this week as I pulled a muscle, popped a rib, and threw my bag up to be weighed: I. Am. An. Overpacker. That’s right…my name is Jennifer Jones, and I’m an overpacker. For the last three trips I have grabbed everything I owned, stuffed it in a suitcase, and the weight was in the 49.5 lb. range each time. It’s like it’s my gift. Some people can play the piano without knowing a single note. Others can work calculus problems that would fill an entire screen of a chalk board. Me? I instinctively know when one pair of flats is just too much and will send me over the 50 lb. mark. To quote Much Ado About Nothing, “Oh, the gifts God gives.” But I always open my suitcase and find things I don’t need (a flashlight?) and quite a few things I do require but don’t have (pants).

I am at this conference solo, as my good writing buddies Erin V. and Erin M. opted to take a break from this annual meeting. So you know what that means…I have no one to giggle and share snarky comments with. But I have made a list consisting of a few pages in my spiral notebook. I will be sharing soon.

Also lots of availability problems with the release of On the Loose,book two in the Katie Parker series, so go ask those book sellers where the stinkin’ book is! There are so far none on the shelves…but 11 for sale used on amazon. WHAT THE HECK? Mom, quit selling your personal copies! When you said every one of them was valuable to you, I didn’t think you meant you were gonna cash in!!!

Just kidding. My mom has more class than that.
She sells on ebay.

More when I return.

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I gave away a bunch of advanced copies of On the Loose on Facebook. Are you my friend? You totally should be! Even if you’re one of my former students and I gave you detention. Or interrupted your mid-class texting. Or gave you an F.

Now for this week’s contest. It’s a very complicated two step process to enter. Here’s what you have to do in order to be entered to win a copy of On the Loose, the book Oprah would love to have. (She just doesn’t know it yet.)

Step One: Leave a comment on my blog by September 23rd. I will be in Dallas with a fun group of writers who I don’t even know, so I will love the company of your comments!

Step Two: Email the answers to this supah easy quiz. The answers are on this blog (might have to search a few old posts if you haven’t been keeping up! But check out the index on the far left column.) Email me using this addy: jen @jennybjones.com. I will draw from the entrants for a signed copy of the book.

Here are the extremely tough questions:

1. I believe cats should learn to swim, True or False?
2. What two cities did I visit this summer?
3. What is the first sentence of On the Loose? (hint: check out the preview post)
4. I was VERY disappointed this person and his family were not home on my recent vacation. Hmmm…who was this famous guy?
5. I have two careers, one being a writer. What’s my other one. (Note to close friends: Keep your jokes to yourself here.)

There are a few reviews up for On the Loose. Here’s one from BookLoons.com.

Stay tuned for future contest announcements. Next week you can win a book if you’re a member of my newsletter gang. (And who wouldn’t be?) If you haven’t already signed up for the newsletter, do that now so you’ll be ready! Check out the spot on the left to take care of this ultra-urgent business.

And thanks to all who are already talking about the book and pledging their undying love. One former student, John, who won a copy on Facebook said he’d “worship it.” Just make sure there aren’t any animal casualties or moon howling involved in that, okay? Worship responsibly.

Thanks for playing along!

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